Evening all - PCOS, anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder

[GirlAlmighty]

Hello everyone,

I'm Rebecca, aged 30, have been diagnosed with PCOS in the last six months. I had adult acne on the lower right side of my jaw for many years, and have always been slightly darker haired than most women I suppose, but it's never really been an issue for me, I tend to just get on with that. However, since my diagnosis I feel that the hair on my face, and around my chest/bottom, has started to darken fairly significantly in my opinion. I also think my hair is starting to fall out, but again, I've been prone to shedding my whole life and up until now it's never been an issue. Even though my doctor suspects I've had PCOS for years and she said it would be unlikely that hair loss would be a problem since I've gone this long without any problems. However, now it feels like it's happening a lot more than it used to and I'm convinced that my hair has felt 'different' over the last few weeks/months.

It only feels that much worse to me because I also live with depression, anxiety and body dysmorphia (BDD). I am absolutely terrified about losing my hair and right now it's all I can think about. I genuinely feel like my life is going to be over if I lose my hair - I've dealt with acne and body hair for such a long time I've learned to cope with them (unless the acne flair ups are particularly bad), probably because I feel they are easier for me to hide.

I genuinely feel like nobody is ever going to love me because of the outward symptoms of PCOS, even though my friends and family tell me they are 'unnoticeable' but, of course, my anxiety and BDD never allow me to believe that and sometimes they're probably just saying that. I don't want to bother my family and friends with my worries, because they often have to deal with the rest of my GAD, so any support would really be appreciated, especially if anyone else has the same problems as me combined with the PCOS. Sorry for the long post!

I hope everyone has a lovely evening.
Rebecca x

[wrigglepup]

Hi ya
Please try not to worry, probably things seem worse because you now know you have this condition, I'm 47 and my hair hasn't really changed and try to remember every body Loses about 100 hair a day anyway.
All the symptoms won't stop you finding a partner either, please try not to worry and enjoy yourself. I know it is easy for me to say. But there is more to us than PCOS.
I hope you have a lovely evening too. X

[GirlAlmighty]

Thank you for replying to this - it's been a really tough month, and I've just dipped again and am having a really bad time after a flair up of my skin. I used to love going out and wearing halter neck dresses and I used to laugh a lot. I even thought I was attractive, despite the usual hang ups people have (I now wish I could have those back).

I try really hard to stay positive, but all I see is a downward spiral. The only relief I get is when I lock my door behind me and spend my weekends indoors. I'm even too down to want to apply for other jobs because the one I'm currently in allows me to hide behind my desk; I can basically ignore everyone all day if I want to (I'm a copyeditor, so it's fairly solitary work) and it's only 10 minutes from my house (again, I can keep myself away from people). I can't bare thinking about going out into the world and trying something new where I'll be exposed.