cross with myself

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cross with myself

Postby beaglelady » Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:33 am

I attended a workshop over the weekend for ladies who are coming to terms with childlessness. I had a few wobbles about going to London and after speaking to the lady who was running it felt that it would be ok she said there would be several ladies like me attending. Anyway on arriving there it became apparent that the majority of attendees were ladies who had not met a partner there was only one other who had been through treatment or had health issues. I decided to stay and on the second day I won't go into detail but I ended having to leave as I was accused of being angry about my situation and felt completely set upon. I have come back feeling worse than I did before I went.

I feel cross firstly that I didn't check the credentials of the lady running it I've found out she isn't BACP qualified now, and also that I was treated this way when I was expressing about my situation in what was supposed to be a safe place and it has made me feel very vulnerable again. I have been offered the course fees back by the organiser and she has asked me to do telephone 1-1s with her but I feel very uncomfortable about this.
had the lot pcos endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids. now in early surgical menopause.
beaglelady
 
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Re: cross with myself

Postby gemstone83 » Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:10 pm

Beaglelady please do not be cross with yourself it was unfair of the lady running the course to 'sell' the course to you when you made it clear of your situation. I would definately accept the fee's back and ask for your travel and accommodation too. I would then recommend seeing an accredited councillor to discuss the topics you wanted to in London.

I beleive you are close to me with being on the lancs/yorkshire boarder I am just outside Skipton so even though I am not in the exact same situation (I have no children and have had 3m/c and have recently been diagnosed with Hughes ontop of the PCOS so have less chance than most at sustaining a pregnancy) I would be more than willing to meet up or sugest a really good therapist that I see on a regular basis and can thougherly recommend.

I am so sorry that this experience has turned out to be so negative and amd sending big big hugs xxxx
TTC since June 2010
August 2011 - Aug 2013 3 first tri miscarriages and a mmc at 12 weeks
Sticky Blood/Hughes Syndrome/APS diagnosed
Lletz November 2012 following abnormal smear
Beautiful baby girl born July 2014 with the help of 150mg aspirin, fragmin, cyclogest, high dose folic acid and a stitch
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Re: cross with myself

Postby beaglelady » Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:04 pm

Thanks gemstone. She emailed me today saying she couldn't afford to pay me for 3 weeks said I wasnt happy with this so she has paid me via credit card via paypal. I am a good hour away from you but would be happy to meet central leeds
had the lot pcos endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids. now in early surgical menopause.
beaglelady
 
Posts: 687
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:27 pm
Location: lancs/west yorkshire border

Re: cross with myself

Postby gemstone83 » Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:23 am

I can't beleive the nerve of some people. Just PM some dates I can mainly do weekends and evenings and its really easy for me to get the train :)
TTC since June 2010
August 2011 - Aug 2013 3 first tri miscarriages and a mmc at 12 weeks
Sticky Blood/Hughes Syndrome/APS diagnosed
Lletz November 2012 following abnormal smear
Beautiful baby girl born July 2014 with the help of 150mg aspirin, fragmin, cyclogest, high dose folic acid and a stitch
Image
gemstone83
 
Posts: 1240
Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 10:38 am
Location: Skipton, North Yorkshire

Re: cross with myself

Postby looey82 » Fri Aug 03, 2012 5:00 pm

Hi Beaglelady,

I haven't really been reading or replying to most posts recently but just wanted to send a big hug. What a crappy thing to have to go through and I'm not surprised after taking the brave step of going to this weekend, that it has been a big blow for it to have been as it was. Do you know what- you have every right to be cross and angry about your situation. You really do. It's completely and totally unfair and has had such a huge impact on your life. Most of us on the forum have faced the possibility of childlessness and struggle with that but we still have hope that things may work out. You don't have that hope anymore (to have your own children I mean) and to have to face that is one of the worst things imaginable.
I know it's hard but just try to forget that weekend. Some things you try will be helpful and others won't be. I can't remember whether you've had counselling recently but I think gemstones idea is a good one. I had 8 months of counselling after my second tri loss and it helped so much. Again, you need to get the right person- I had counselling after my Dad died in very tragic circumstances and didn't get on with the counsellor at all. It didn't help and I stopped going and it really put me off. My fertility counsellor was much better- probably because she dealt with infertility all the time and it turns out that she was never able to have children.
Anyway, I'm glad you have had your money returned. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your feelings- they are completely valid and others who haven't gone through the trauma of failed treatment and loss simply do not understand.
Massive hugs to you and hope this doesn't set you back too much. Lots of love xxxx
TTC Mar 08
Clomid#1 May 09-BFP- MMC at 9+2wks
Natural BFP- Dec 09! Lost baby girl at 18+5 wks due to pPROM
12 clomid cycles & 2 x FSH injections with IUI- BFNs
IVF#1- 25 eggs, 8 fertilised, 1 back + 4 frosties!
IVF BFP- Clexane & prog injections, low dose steroids & aspirin
Aug 12- DS born at 27+5wks after 10 weeks of problems
TTC#2 Nov 13
Mar 14- FET 1 embryo transfered- BFP- early MC
IVF DD born at 34+4wks Apr 2015
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Re: cross with myself

Postby Kasha » Fri Aug 03, 2012 8:43 pm

Oh lovely lady you really have no reason to be cross with yourself. Not much i can add that Looey and Gemstone haven't said. I think they were out of order treating you like that and you should definitely take it further.
Lots of love x
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BFP - 7/10/10, sadly miscarried at 6 weeks 15/10/10
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BFP - 18/11/10

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BFP 07/12
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Raindrops 'n Roses
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Re: cross with myself

Postby beaglelady » Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:02 pm

Thank you ladies. I have been in touch with a counsellor who the bacp recommended and am thinking about seeing her. My husband has reminded me this week too that I have been through a lot and that I should take no notice. Thanks again.
had the lot pcos endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids. now in early surgical menopause.
beaglelady
 
Posts: 687
Joined: Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:27 pm
Location: lancs/west yorkshire border


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