new partner - pain during sex

[kathryn]

Hi,
I'm new to these boards and need a bit of advice.
I was diagnosed with PCOS several years ago, but have been always found GPs unsympathetic and unhelpful, so other than taking the pill to regualte my periods I've not seen a GP regarding my pcos for quite a few years.
I've recently met a new partner who is quite well-endowed and find that sex in certain positions is quite painful. I've had occasional pain with previous (not so well-endowed!)partners in the same positions, but now it's every time. It happens when we're in positions where he's pushing towards the front of me - I feel very swollen and tender and get sharp pains with some movements.
I'm not sure if this is just because he's a larger man, or because my pcos situation has changed/worsened since I was last reviewed (about 8yrs ago).
Is this sort of pain common with pcos?
I kind of think I ought to see my GP, as it's been a few years since I last had a thorough check-up, but I find the process quite distressing and really would like someone to say that this pain is fairly common and nothing to worry about ).
Can anybody advise?
thanks - kathryn.

[crystalwitch]

Hi Kathryn,

Pain during sex can be common in PCOS ladies I believe - I've certainly had times when I've been sore, just really because my hormones have been messing about more than usual and it's made me tender down there!

But, pain during sex can also be caused by STDs such as chlamydia - are you using condoms with your new partner? Or is there any chance you could have picked something up from a previous partner and not realised it, and been carrying it around for a while? Chlamydia in particular will hang around for years with no symptoms, then suddenly you'll start getting the pains and unusual bleeding etc.

If there's no chance that you could have picked up anything nasty, then your pain could just be caused by the fact that your new guy is larger than your previous partners. Try positions where penetration is not so deep (very deep positions with large guys can even bump an ovary, which is very painful even in someone who doesn't have PCOS!), or you could try being on top so you're more 'in charge' and can control how deep he penetrates you.

I would recommend that you go and get checked out though, just for your own peace of mind as much as anything else - it doesn't have to be by your GP necessarily, is there a family planning clinic where you live? You could get a smear test done, and ask them to swab you for any STDs at the same time, just to be sure. At least then you'll know you're clear! I know it's really not nice having these things done, but honestly you'll feel much better knowing you've had it done - and then you don't have to get another one for 3 years!

HTH. Take care,

crystal

[kathryn]

Hi Crystal - thanks for the reply.
I do use condoms with the new partner; I had a full STI screening a few years ago with a previous partner and we both got the all-clear, and my smear is up-to-date. I know nothing is 100% though, so I guess an STI check-up wouldn't hurt.

I was diagnosed with pcos when I was a teenager before I was sexually active so it's hard to determine if the discomfort is 'normal', if it can be attributed to my pcos or if it's just down to the way he and I are built. I guess it just takes a bit of time to figure out what works with a new partner (maybe we just need to practise more!).

The pain I'm experiencing is more consistant than anything I've had in the past and that got me wondering. I think I will go and see my GP anyway; I'm probably due for a pcos review and I can ask about the other stuff at the same time. I just find GPs so unhelpful and dismissive of PCOS that I get really upset when I go there...

Thanks for the advice,
kathryn