Dealing with emotions after M/C :(

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Re: Dealing with emotions after M/C :(

Postby ShazzaM74 » Thu Nov 14, 2013 7:15 pm

Hi, I was on the same post as you before all this and mine happened 14/10 this was my 2nd mc this year the first in May. We have been ttc for 15yrs with not even a sniff of ov in all that time. I lost 2st which seems to have started the ball rolling. All natural except met. So when we got the bfp we was understandably over the moon, this was short lived and probably in hind sight we shouldn't have got so excited too early but it's hard not to. On the day we had the scan I was almost expecting bad news but hoped just one time we would have a bit of luck. When we got home we was just numb, it was like our world had stopped and everything was eerily silent just like when you're told someone has died. All the plans and names we had chosen just seemed like a dream and of course every advert is babies, everywhere you go is babies we couldn't escape from it being shoved down our throats.

2nd time wasn't so bad, that sounds awful but now I knew what to expect and because this one wasn't as far along it was just an extreme af.

All I can say is it does get easier and you get back on the horse. You can't change things that have happened and know that next time it might just stick. I found keeping away from others with babies just for a while let's you heal for a little bit.
I've also seen a new GP whose been thro ivf so she is more clued up and is investigating the recurring mc's which has given me new hope as 20/11/13 would have been my EDD it's giving me something to focus on.

I didn't cry for ages then it hit me in bed one night. You have to grieve, it hurts but hug each other and try again.
It does get easier, I promise xxx
Age me 39 dh 45
PCOS since 1998
Metformin 500mg x3 a day
Married 15yrs TTC 15yrs No contraception actively ttc 2yrs
Surprise bfp after weighloss
BFP 1 MC @ 7-8wks 1/5/13
BFP 2 MC @ 4-5wks 15/10/13
ShazzaM74
 
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Re: Dealing with emotions after M/C :(

Postby Kasha » Fri Nov 15, 2013 9:08 am

Tracie i am really sorry you are going through all this, but you know that already! I wish i could give you the right words which will make it all seem better, or help you through this, but there are no words i'm afraid. Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief, which is essentially what you are experiencing. I think it's complicated a bit because you were left hanging by the hospital for such a long time with no true answers, and i don't think anyone was truely honest, or at least they didnt give you true expectation. I know you'll make a complaint, so hopefully that might help a bit.
You really just have to take every day as it comes. Cry, laugh, rant, vent, be alone, or surround yourself in people, whatever feels right for you at that time. Talk about it, or don't talk about it, only you know how you feel about it but the best thing i can say is be kind to yourself, don't expect things of yourself, dom't do too much too soon. It will get better, i promise. I don't know when it will but it will. Every day you wake up is one more day towards you beginning to heal. Every time you get on bed and go to sleep at night, it's another day done. Be honest with yourself about how you feel and don't bottle it .
I can't tell you how to deal with the emptions, because quite honestly even 3 yrs and 2 more children later, it does still come back and bites me on the bum! Just not as often, and not as painful.
Sending you lots of love x you know where i am xx
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BFP - 7/10/10, sadly miscarried at 6 weeks 15/10/10
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BFP - 18/11/10

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BFP 07/12
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Raindrops 'n Roses
Kasha
 
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Re: Dealing with emotions after M/C :(

Postby hope07 » Fri Nov 15, 2013 12:57 pm

(((Tracie))) I echo everything ^^^-

Be kind to you and do what feels right for you. At my lowest I saw a professional counsellor and it really helped.

Xxx
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
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