To a better year.. 2013!!!

[debs29]

Hi Amber, sorry I have been away for ages (I can't believe it has been over a week!). How are you? Your last post sounded really positive - you are so right getting mentally prepared for the future is so important. I am going to check out the web link you put on. Are you still enjoying your placements and studies? You have definitely made the best decision to pursue your dream studies. I am now loving my job again since going part time and there is nothing like that feeling. I am not on any drugs yet, I start buserelin on Thursday. I can't believe how long everything takes - my egg transfer won't be until the end of April all being well. My birthday is on the 23rd of April and I would have preferred not to have ET around then for many reasons. On other matters though I am doing really well - have officially lost over 2 stone now and have only 13.5lbs to go until my BMI will be 25. I am getting more into my yoga and I now have my wedding dress which I am so happy with!

Joy - I'm doing really well - how are you getting on? You are nearly at your appointment - I have everything crossed that they will go your way. You are still managing to fall pregnant so I don't think their age arguments will stand up. I have a good feeling that it will go your way!

Debbiexxx

[Amber]

HI Debbie

Well done on your weight loss, a 2 stone plus loss is excellent. Glad you have found your wedding dress too.

It is good to enough your work isn't it. It makes life worth living and means you don't put all your hopes of happiness on having a baby, which would be a huge burden to them when they finally arrive.

I know what you mean about the IVF process taking so long. From my perspective now that I am ovulating and know that I can conceive, I see one IVF cycle as the equivalent to 3 natural cycles. You may statistically have an increased chance of getting pregnant on an IVF cycle compared to one natural cycle but when it takes the length of 3, maybe 4, I can't really see an increase in the odds of increased chances of getting pregnant.

I must admit that I wasn't feeling that positive this week and decided to take some time out from this forum as I needed to focus my mind else where for a bit. I decided to get one of the fertile heart imagery CDs from the site I linked to above. I went for CD1 as I could get that without paying the extortionate import tax. I will let you know what it is like when I have worked with it for a bit.

Joy - you may be interested in this site too as the woman who runs it had her last child at 43 after being told she was past it. She has gone on to help many other women who have been told the same thing.

Amber xxx

[debs29]

Hi Amber - it has been good to catch up! I fully understand the need to stay away from the forum sometimes. I go though phases where I take a break but I always end up coming back to see how everyone is getting on.

The fertile heart website seems really good. I am going to check it out but maybe nearer ET. I am good at the moment focusing on the wedding so I don't want to face anything like that just now. But nearer the ET I want to get my head in check for another go. I have to be strong enough to deal with my eggs not surviving, or the disappointment of not getting pregnant or getting pregnant and worrying about MC. I will be interested to hear how you find your CD.

I know exactly what you mean about IVF. If you do ovulate naturally you are best to stick with that. Your cycles seem to be regular now and you are falling pregnant so it will definitely happen. With my weight loss I am sure that my hormone levels are better as spots and hair growth show me this. Less spots and slower hair growth. My energy levels are also much higher. Before I had such a lazy lifestyle after work I couldn't wait to plonk in front of the TV. Now I get bored very easily and have to find something to do. My work colleagues are being really supportive. We used to have a cake day and there were sweets in the office everyday. When I was trying to lose weight they stopped it all and bring in fruit instead. Much easier as there is no temptation but at the same time I am a different person who is capable of saying no now.

Just to let you know if you feel you can't face the forum I'm still thinking about you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way

Debbiexxxxx

[joy]

Hiya x
Amber I will defend look at the site Thankyou x
Debs I'm ok.. after being referred by my gp and consultant was told by the clinic no! They are not following the nice guidlines, I was devastated and angry Tbh and felt I'd been given a million pounds in one hand and then taken off me. I rung my mp office and have an appointment on tues, I know I've probably got no chance but I'm doing it for all the other women as I don't want them going through what I have. I know I've been pregnant but its taken best part of my life to get there. I'm.43 soon and feel so frustrated atm. My Bloods are back to normal n my chart looks like I've ov on cd8! I decided not too take agnus castus as i really want to see how my body is funtioning without any help at all.
Today is hard being mothers day.. sending u all a big hug Xx

[Amber]

HI Debbie - Thanks for your support. I am sure you will be able to ovulate on your own at some point now that you are making all these positive changes in your life. Once you have completed your weight loss and get your calorie intake up again with healthy food your body may well start ovulating. You are already seeing other positive signs such as reduced acne as less hair growth. You are lucky to have supportive colleagues in your weight loss too. So many people try and sabotage other people's weight loss attempts with the "just one won't hurt" temptations.

Joy - I am sorry for your news, however please don't lose faith, you can ovulate on your own and you still have a functioning tube (which can reach both ovaries by the way). It is frustrating when you ovulate early as you feel that you didn't get a chance to try, however it does show that the body is keen to become pregnant again. I ovulated on CD10 and I had an outbreak of thrush just before then (haven't had that for over ten years), however it is now CD15 and feels like my body is ovulating again so goodness knows what is going on. Hopefully next month it will be back to normal. I know how you feel about age, I will turn 40 in the next week, even though I don't feel that old. I am not going to let statistics get me down though as they are just statistics and don't account for individual health. I am healthier than many people in their 20s. I used to know a women in her late 20s who was seriously out of breath from walking up two flights of stairs at work (no lift!) while I felt fine. Her idea of a healthy lunch was a fish finger and tomato ketchup sandwich in white bread! I think I know who was younger in biological age! I hope you get an appointment with your MP, hopefully it will help you to deal with your frustration and feel better afterwards. Let us know how you get on.

hope you both have a good week

Amber xxx

[joy]

Hiya amber ur totally right re age, I'm in better shape now than I was having my first ivf at 23, I lost 4 stone and have kept it off for nearly 15 years( give or take half stone each way) me n oh used to do weights n often entered local body building competitions...for me I don't mean the really heavy ones that look like men lol) I still try n train but ttc took over my life again after finding out Wat I did. I don't smoke , occasionally drink n don't eat meat or diary products(not by choice I just don't like them) but love fish!. Age is just a number. X
Debs I didn't realise ur getting married, something to focus on!! I can't read back..r ur starting ivf? X

[debs29]

Hiya Joy,

Yes I'm getting married in October - after my MC in December we felt we needed to have something good to focus on in 2013 so after over 3 years being engaged we booked our wedding. It is going to be a very small affair as my OH mum passed away last year so we will keep it intimate.


Amber - how are you?? Any news with you?

Debbiexxx

[Amber]

HI Debbie

I haven't got that much to report except for other stressors in my life. I have been feeling quite emotionally exhausted recently, I think some of the cases on my placement have been getting to me as hearing some of the stories are quite shocking and some things have really got me reflecting on my own life. I need to practice separating myself from it all. Apart from that I have had plumbing issues in the house which have taken away my study time which is really annoying. I now have to find some time to redecorate the upstairs ceiling after a water leak. I have a stray cat trying to move in, he seem quite a friendly (and starving cat) however my cats don't like it so I am in a bit of a dilema about what to do at the moment. I need to get him to the vet to check for a microchip but he keeps turning up when the vet is shut and I can't shut him in my house because of my cats.

Apart from that feeling like AF is on the way which may be adding to the way I feel.

hope you are having a better week!

Amber xxx

[Amber]

Hi Debbie & Joy

Just a quick post as I thought both of you maybe interested in the freebie below:

http://www.circlebloom.com/healing-recovery-program/

It is specifically designed for emotional recovery from miscarriage. I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet but thought I would let you know about it while the free give away offer is still available.

Amber xxx

[debs29]

Hi Amber,

I am so sorry to hear how bad you have been feeling and all the stress you seem to be having at the moment. What happened with your plumbing and stray cat? I hope both things are sorted now and your stress levels are coming down. Have you had a chance to try recovery program from above?

I am also not doing very well....a lot of stress (all in my own head!) and I hate that I am letting this happen. Still sticking to healthy eating exercise but weight loss is slower as I am straying slightly - but still motivated. We are booking a night away next week to get away for a wee while.

I hope the program is helpful - I am going to check it out in a minute!

Debbiexxxx

[Amber]

HI Debbie

Thanks for checking up on me. The shower is now fixed but the ceiling still needs to be repainted. DH is off from work this week and is offering to do this. Just hoping he doesn't paint the carpet at the same time!

The cat issue is getting a bit of a headache as I feel as though I am being a full time cat mummy. Took the stray to the vet on Saturday and he is not microchipped so can't track down an owner, however is (was) a full tomcat. Booked him in to get neutered (charity paid scheme) but had to wait until today. Couldn't let him out in the meantime as he would do a runner. My cats weren't too keen on him staying in and there have been some disagreements and protests. One of our cats went to toilet on our bed! Tomcats pee stinks so litter tray was rather smelly. He went to the vet last night and came back this afternoon so had one day of relaxation. He has to stay in tonight because of the anesthetic. Going to have to let him out tomorrow as he is getting restless and the tension is getting up in the house (including me!). He is a lovely cat but I just can't keep 3 of them shut in the house so I will have to take a chance and see if he chooses to come back. I wish we could find him a home but all the charities homes are full due to so many people abandoning or giving up their pets.

I need to get back to that program, I listened to it once and it was really relaxing - I really need something relaxing right now!

catch up soon

Amber xxx

[debs29]

Hi Amber,

I am always loitering around. As I haven't been doing too well mentally I try to come on here on my days off/ weekends as I just can't seem to juggle everything when I'm at work. I am having a better week this week (probably due to holidays on Friday!). Also just back from yoga and I really got into the relaxation part tonight.

Glad your plumbing seems to be on the mend - but your cat situation sounds like a nightmare. We also have two cats (we love them to bits) and we regularly get the neighbours cats coming to our back door. We also find it really hard to sent them away even though our youngest cat gets really really upset (she was a rescue cat and has always had strange behaviours - we think she was beaten as she hides away a lot especially if there are loud noises). The fact your new lodger is a full tom is going to be even worse. I hope it all works out for you and a home comes up - I will be checking up for updates.

How have you been coping with MC etc? I am not in the best place but looking forward to the holidays and a bit of down time.

Take Care

Debbiex

[beaglelady]

hope you dont mind me crashing this post. i just wanted to give you ladies who are struggling after miscarriage a hug i know how crap it is. take care

[Amber]

Thanks beaglelady - I try to keep myself busy and focus on other things as I know I have limited control over this.

[Amber]

Hi Debbie

I found out that the cat that keeps coming in does have a home nearby, apparently he is fed 3 times a day but is still trying to eat my cats' food. He isn't a tom cat anymore as I took him to the vet as a stray, whoops! Well at least he isn't going to spray my house anymore! They should have done it themselves!

Had a wasted trip into London on Tuesday, as part of my placement they have to screen you for certain infectious diseases. Found out I am not immune to measles as my mother never took me for my booster vacination when I was 4. Of course now you can't get the single measles vacination only the MMR. This can't be given to women who are trying to get pregnant because the rubella part is a live vacination. I wish they had told that to me over the phone as there is no way I am putting ttc off for three month!

AF has just shown up, I don't know what my body was doing this month but been having AF like symptoms for the past 10 days. It felt like my body tried to ovulate several times this cycle. Oh well let's hope the next cycle is better. It is the Easter holidays and I am going away next weekend so more time to relax. Just hope it warms up a bit before then.

hope you are having a good weekend
Amber