Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby Amber » Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:00 pm

Hi Debbie

I am glad you are feeling a little more hopeful. When I had my final scan last week at the EPU the lady who did my scan said that many miscarriages are because something went wrong in the cell copying process. Metformin cannot help with this, all you can do is not drink or smoke and take your folic acid. Once the embryo has embedded and started growing it is all "in the hands of the gods" as she put it. Just because it happened this time does not mean it will happen the next time.

Hope you feel better soon
Amber

P.S. If you get offered the morphine take it. I tried to get some in A & E but I don't think they understood how much pain I was in.
Diagnosed March 09
Lap & Dye Aug 09
6 x Clomid 50mg Ov BFN - 24-26 days
1 x clomid 100mg over stimulated
Cyclogest
IVF 1st round - 2 blasts BFN
Letting thing happen naturally
BFP @ 11 wks - Nov 12 mmc 12 wks
BFP @ 8 wks - 21/05/14 EDD 31/12/14
DD born 03/01/15
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby sicily » Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:38 pm

Debs, I'm glad you are feeling reassured. I think the scariest bit is just not knowing what/how it will happen. Your post did remind me about collecting the remains for analysis and I'm glad your dr brought it up with you. This is something I really, really wish I had done. I was in a&e when I passed the majority of the mc as i stood up from the loo, it fell into my pad. Ididn't look closely but it looked like a sac to me and i was in such a state, I asked DH to dispose of it and then I asked the a&e doctor and he said it was fine to have done that and to leave it. In hindsight, I wish the dr had retrieved and kept it for analysis just so I had an answer, even if it was just to confirm the embryo was never even viable. Having seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks though, we'd been told this was a very good sign and obviiusly when you have problems ttc you wonder if something else is wrong too. Sorry about all the details but I think in a ward for pregnancy problems they probably are a bit more aware of what to do than in a busy a&e.

As for doing things differently, I was on metformin for both my successful cycles (clomid with MMC and ivf for this pregnancy which is now 36weeks) and stopped the met at about 12 weeks. For my ivf preg I was also on progesterone pessaries until about 10 weeks and through the ivf I was very good with my water and protein intake. I also took vitamin d drops and omega 3 fish oil throughout the cycle and a couple of weeks after bfp. My biggest diffference was mental state though - in my first pregnancy I was very excited straightaway, until my symptoms stopped at 8 weeks (when embryo stopped growing) and then I became very moody and agitated and easily upset and refsuing to talk about the pregnancy because I guess I knew deep down that something was up. With second (ivf) pregnancy I found it hard to really believe it and get excited until about 20 weeks and I still struggle now with believing i will have my baby in a few weeks. It's a shame it has affected me in this way but it is the impact the mc has had on my life and trusting my body to do the right thing.

Take care and hope the night passes easily for you xx
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby Doobykat » Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:43 am

Debs, so sorry to read that you are doing through this too :(
I had a missed miscarriage over the summer too, discovered at my dating scan. The baby had only recently stopped growing (measured 12-13w) & I was advised to go down the medically managed route too as there was a question mark as to to whether the baby would actually have been too big for removal via an ERPC :?
I only got as far as taking the progesterone blocker pills, the first lot of pills that you have to take. Seems that that was enough for my body to then to go into labour - and as Espoir has already said, the pains are almost identical to labour pains and breathing through them does do a lot to help manage the pain. For me, being that bit further along, my waters broke first and then everything else followed within the next couple of hours. This was the middle of the night (some 14hrs after taking the progesterone blocker pills) so it happened at home.
I still went into the hospital as scheduled 48hrs after the first pills, but was just given a scan instead, to confirmed that everything had passed.
Thinking of you & hoping that everything goes as well as it can given the circustances
x x x
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby debs29 » Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:11 pm

Hi Everyone,

An up and down day. I didn't have more than light bleeding through the night although heavier than I had been having previously. We went out to try and distract ourselves and it made me worse as there was babies in buggies everywhere.

The ward I will be on are brilliant - it is a ward used to dealing with this and they have been absolutely brilliant. The doctor said that this is traumatic and they are there to make it as comfortable as possible. I am just devastated and so so scared mainly about the pain and worrying what that will be like. Also the fact that it takes a long time - why can't it just be one quick trip to the toilet - it is hard enough as it is. I am looking forward to saturday when we can stop worrying about tomorrow and look to the future and my first thing is to lose weight. Anyone else managed to lose weight? How did you manage? Anyone tried low GI?

Thanks for everything - I can't thank you all enough x
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby Amber » Thu Dec 13, 2012 8:03 pm

HI Debbie

Don't worry about the pain, you will be on the ward and they will be able to give you what you need. It must be hard waiting for it to happen though. By the time I knew I was miscarrying there was blood everywhere. Just make sure you give yourself plenty of time to rest and sleep afterwards. I found plenty of sleep to be a great healer. A hot water bottle may be a good option too. I took mine to A & E and had to get them to refill my fluffy bunny hot water bottle!

With the diet afterwards, you need to look into nourishing yourself and not lots of calorie restriction as that will stop your periods coming back. A lot of overweight/obese people are actually under nourished but it is not recognised. Once the body gets what it needs it can get back to where it needs to be (though this is probably not going to be super skinny). I found I lost a bit of weight through the pregnancy sickness and then I couldn't eat anything while going through miscarriage as I was stressed and in pain. I am fine now though and getting plenty of good quality food back in me for my next go. My body is already going through ovulation, I though it was Tuesday but know it feels like it is trying again, maybe a double Ov month I don't know. You just need to look after yourself and be kind to yourself and your body will soon get back on track. Just please don't blame yourself for what you are going through there is nothing you could have done.

hope all goes well
Amber
Diagnosed March 09
Lap & Dye Aug 09
6 x Clomid 50mg Ov BFN - 24-26 days
1 x clomid 100mg over stimulated
Cyclogest
IVF 1st round - 2 blasts BFN
Letting thing happen naturally
BFP @ 11 wks - Nov 12 mmc 12 wks
BFP @ 8 wks - 21/05/14 EDD 31/12/14
DD born 03/01/15
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby debs29 » Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:03 pm

Hi everyone,

Thought I'd let you all know that I survived yesterday. The staff were brilliant - I couldn't have felt in better hands. They were matter of fact along with being sensitive and caring. I was lucky in that the worst of it happened very quickly - they said my body was ready to miscarry. Some of tissue got stuck in my cervix so I ended up in quite a lot of pain for about 3 hours, but once pain relief kicked in I could cope. In total it took 13 hours for everything to clear and for me to get home. It is horrible but it is a relief that that side of things is over. Those heat packs were a miracle as well - still using one to help with the slight cramps I have. I feel very lost and empty - it is as though my body knows it is missing something.

Now to the task of moving on and looking forward - I have a feeling it is easier said than done.

Debbiex
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby Amber » Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:04 pm

Hi Debbie

Glad to hear the worst of the bleeding and the physically painful bit is over. I know now the psychological pain is starting to emerge and yes you will feel sad and empty so have a good cry if you need to as it helps. Your body will be tired too so make sure you get plenty of sleep over the next few days. Also you have lost quite a lot of blood so you will need to build it up again so make sure you get some good quality red meat to help replace the iron you have lost. Take time off from work if you need to as well. The better you look after yourself the quicker your body will get back to normal. It helps once the bleeding has stopped too.

look after yourself
Amber
Diagnosed March 09
Lap & Dye Aug 09
6 x Clomid 50mg Ov BFN - 24-26 days
1 x clomid 100mg over stimulated
Cyclogest
IVF 1st round - 2 blasts BFN
Letting thing happen naturally
BFP @ 11 wks - Nov 12 mmc 12 wks
BFP @ 8 wks - 21/05/14 EDD 31/12/14
DD born 03/01/15
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby hope07 » Sun Dec 16, 2012 7:11 am

Debbie. Just want to send some (((((hugs))))))) although I have children now, I'll never forget the heartbreak of miscarrying so many times.
This forum has some of the most caring ladies and helped me through my darkest times. Take time to lool after you xxx
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby debs29 » Mon Dec 17, 2012 3:13 pm

Hi Amber and Hope,

Thanks for lovely wishes. I think the full extent of our loss is only really kicking in. My body just needs to be pregnant again but my mind cannot deal with IVF right now. Going to concentrate on getting healthy both mentally and physically. I am going to lose more weight and am meeting with my boss to drop hours at work, work 3 days instead of 5. I find my job stressful and just need to get a better balance. Also allows me to spend more time with my loved ones and fit in more exercise. Am worried about the money situation but health and happiness is far more important.

Hope - can I just say you are inspirational. How did you manage to carry on after 7 miscarriages? Any advice? Did you ever get any explanations as to why this happened so many times? What do you think changed in your pregnancies which ended in your lovely children? Obviously if there is anything I can do I am going to make those changes right away. Any advice you ahve would mean a lot as your story actually gives me a lot of hope and makes me feel stronger about trying again. Also did you conceive naturally???

Thanks for all your help ladies

Debbiex
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby Amber » Mon Dec 17, 2012 6:00 pm

Hi Debbie

I know how you feel, when you get over the physical pain the emotional pain sets in. It might be worth getting some sort of counselling to help you get over the emotional part. I have just been for my monthly accupunture/emotional healing session for this month to help me try and get back on track. Thankfully the lady I see has experienced miscarriage so fully understands how I feel. She has had many clients who have had infertility and miscarriage issues and most of them go on to have healthy babies. It is defintely helps to talk about it to somebody outside of your family.

Sometimes you have to put your health before money, I used to worry about not bringing in my fair share but I feel so much better doing what I am doing now and we are getting by. We just have to be a bit careful about how we spend our money.
Diagnosed March 09
Lap & Dye Aug 09
6 x Clomid 50mg Ov BFN - 24-26 days
1 x clomid 100mg over stimulated
Cyclogest
IVF 1st round - 2 blasts BFN
Letting thing happen naturally
BFP @ 11 wks - Nov 12 mmc 12 wks
BFP @ 8 wks - 21/05/14 EDD 31/12/14
DD born 03/01/15
Amber
 
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Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby missus griff » Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:07 pm

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you loss :(.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover physically and emotionally. It is such a lonely, horrific time and a place I never want to revisit and wish nobody else had to go there either. There were times I thought I would never become a parent, but we got there and there isn't a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars.

Keep your chin up hun. Wishing you all the best xxx
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby debs29 » Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:17 pm

Amber - it sounds like you are just where I am and I really do need someone to talk to. An old colleage who went through a MC at 12 weeks 3 years ago has been a massive support. I had lost touch but I was so desperate I contacted her and she has been so brilliant. It especially helps when someone understands. I have had so many people say you were only 7 weeks - but they have no idea that it was 13 hours of having to watch my baby come out of me - and I'm still bleeding heavily. My body doesn't realise what has happened and is yearning for my baby back - people who haven't been through this just don't realise. I am not worried about losing money - the only thing is how much IVF treatments we will need as it is £4500 a time. A lot of money. But I need to focus on me just now. I see you are studying - what have you decided to study?

Mrs Griff - thank you so much for your condolences - and hope - it is lovely to see that you can go through this and come out the other end. How is your current pregnancy going - are you feeling well? You must be counting the weeks!!!!

Debbiex
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby Amber » Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:10 pm

Hi Debbie

I am studying for an MSc in Health Psychology. I have been quite lucky when talking to people about my miscarriage as nobody has said anything dismissive. I suppose this partly down to the course that I am doing and everyone is away of the psychological impact of medical issues including miscarriage (they shouldn't be on the course otherwise!). One of them even commented on how many people won't talk about it and how bad it is for your emotions and health to bottle it all up. One in three pregnancies end in miscarriage so there are lots of women out there who have experienced it. So yes keep talking to the right people, it is good for you.

I am guessing it must be worse for you as you went through IVF as well. I was devastated when my IVF failed last year. At least my miscarriage was after a natural conception which has given me hope that I can conceive again naturally. I spent all my money on my postgraduate education so there is no money for IVF, however I found the whole process so horrible I couldn't face it again.

Still my course is keeping me busy now, just found out my next deadline is a week earlier than expected so time to get writing and researching for me!

Amber
Diagnosed March 09
Lap & Dye Aug 09
6 x Clomid 50mg Ov BFN - 24-26 days
1 x clomid 100mg over stimulated
Cyclogest
IVF 1st round - 2 blasts BFN
Letting thing happen naturally
BFP @ 11 wks - Nov 12 mmc 12 wks
BFP @ 8 wks - 21/05/14 EDD 31/12/14
DD born 03/01/15
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Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby hope07 » Fri Dec 21, 2012 7:59 am

Hi Debbie. How are you doing? Hope youre taking some YOU time xxx

re your Q re our journey.
I'm not sure how we managed to keep trying at times, I think the thought of stopping trying scared me, and what that meant for my life. Having said this when we had ivf I had decided that would be it as I'd had enough and needed to move on with my life. I think I'd just reached the stage that I was ready to stoo. (we ttc for nearly 5 yrs)

My best advice is look after you and dont worry what others think. If you want to cry or shout or be angry its ok to feel that way, as what you're going through is a heartbreaking brievement. People forget that x

what changed for me...when i had ivf they decided to throw everything at me medication wise. Cyclogest (progesterone) clexaine, metformin, high dose folic acid and asparin and thankfully it worked and I had my ds who is now 2:5yrs.
With dd we got a surprise natural bfp so I immediatley went and demanded the same meds as before and thankfully she was born safely in Aug this year.
I had bleeding in both pgs though. With dd I bled bright red from day1 and had a massi e hemorage passing a big clot at 9 weeks, I honestly thought I'd lost her, but she was a little fight and we made it.
Suffering a mc is simply so heartbreaking, but sadly alot of people just brush it off and dont take the time to be compassionate and caring.
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Re: Advice Please Spotting During Pregnancy

Postby hope07 » Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:01 am

I hope things work out for you soon. Take care huni xxx
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

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1 DD- Natural BFP
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