Trying again after a loss

A safe haven for you to discuss losing a pregnancy and recurrent miscarriage

Moderators: thebuzz, Northfifer, Sammi, Hols969, DawnyB, purplestar, loachy, Mrs Wilko, Lutzomyia

Postby hope07 » Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:49 pm

Had a tough day today. Someone at work announced their wife is pregnant, and I met a woman who is due around the same time as I would have been (28th August) I'm not ashamed to say I went to the toilet and had a little cry, I didn't feel angry just very sad. X
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
Posts: 3788
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:02 pm

Postby Nicola1 » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:52 am

Oh Hope,

I'm so sorry, it never gets any easier does it? All my friends were TTC throughout my nightmare and a few women at work, so I dreaded the 'announcements'.

PM me anytime if you need to talk.

Nicola x
Dec '06 - m/c 17 wks
Sept '05 - m/c 23.5 wks
Sept '04 - m/c 19wks

'If you want the rainbow, sometimes you gotta put up with the rain'

Image
Nicola1
 
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:28 am
Location: Ribble Valley

Postby hope07 » Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:40 pm

Thanks Nicola, I really appreciate the support from women who understand how hard it is.
I know its heartbreaking to suffer one loss, but to suffer from recurrent loss is just so hard, and its hard to keep trying.
But I'm trying to keep my PMA as high as possible and I'm winning the battle, its just sometimes I get caught off guard.
Wishing you all the best with this little one- take care XX
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
Posts: 3788
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:02 pm

Postby Nicola1 » Thu Aug 14, 2008 7:53 pm

Hope,

Are you having treatment, counselling, seeing a cons? - I asked for a referral to the recurrent m/c clinic at St Marys, London and if it hadn't been for them, I would never have known about this stitch Ive had or gave me hope that it can happen?

If you don't want to talk here, please PM me.

Nicola.
Dec '06 - m/c 17 wks
Sept '05 - m/c 23.5 wks
Sept '04 - m/c 19wks

'If you want the rainbow, sometimes you gotta put up with the rain'

Image
Nicola1
 
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:28 am
Location: Ribble Valley

Postby hope07 » Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:03 am

Thanks Nicola-X
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
Posts: 3788
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:02 pm

Postby Maddi » Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:25 pm

Thanks for those replies. They are helpful. We have seen her partner since and he spoke about it but said that she is really struggling and doesnt want to return to work or anything. It really is so sad. My heart goes out to anyone who has lost a child. xxx
Maddi
 

Postby Haraspace » Fri Aug 15, 2008 6:33 pm

Hello everybody,

my love to all of you that have lost a baby ....I am truly with you.

Here is my story, a short version...

I moved to UK with DH in December 2007. We had TTC for some time, around 2 years with no success. THe last year we visited a fertility clinic, and they recommended we started by loosing some weight (me, of course) and prescribed metformin.

Then, right when my menstruations where starting to appear more often, my husband was offered a job in UK, and we moved.

Then to our joy, I felt pregnant. I dicover it mid February, we were so so so happy. I took at least 5 HPT, as I could simply not believe it! Anyway, I immediatly got a bit nervous as I noticed I was spotting a bit of something that was not blood.
I visited immediatly my GP who already knew about my PCOS and our infertility problem. He reffered us to the hospital for a further check.

After a couple of days of agony, the worst happened. I was dignosed an ectopic pregnancy in my right fallopian tube.

We were completly devastated. I never in my life felt so bad, never. I cried in desperation for days, while I waited in the hospital bed to be operated. My husband at that point, had assumed that that baby wasn't coming, and he was more concerned of what could happen to me.

After all, the 27th February in the morning, the baby (who already had a heartbeat!) and the tube were removed.

I felt so empty, they took away all I ever wanted. I still feel so sad once in a while, it is very hard to explain.

I wondered why, why me so many times, and the doctors could not give me a proper answer. I never had an infection or operation, or had a DIU...the doctor could only say that it was bad luck. I was that 1% that is unlucky enough, that 1 in 100.

The worse is that now, I am not only a PCOS, I also lack one of the tubes, so my possibilities are reduced. Also like this, if I manage to fall pregnant again, there is a 20% probability that it would happen again.

With all the agony in thinking about it, we are decided to keep trying, so after some time getting mentally ready, I am back in a diet, doing sport (I have lost another couple of kilos!!) and visiting the fertility clinic in October. I will try to get as much ready as possible and keep fighting for this....wish me luck!

Sorry for the looooong posting but I needed so badly to tell someone that would understand my pain.

Thanks for listening...xxx
Haraspace
 

Postby hope07 » Fri Aug 15, 2008 7:39 pm

Haraspace- (((HUGS))) to you X
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
Posts: 3788
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:02 pm

Postby alison86 » Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:39 pm

Haraspace i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I've also got my next app in Oct and am trying to get myself ready for it hopefully we will both have a positive result x

Hope its so hard when others announce their pregnant when its the one thing you want in the world. It feels so hard to have lost one child I can't begin to understand the pain you have in your heart. Sending you big (((HUGS)))

Nicola you and hope have been a true source of inspiration for me lately. We will all get the result in the end. I'm sure you'll not fully relax until you hear that little one cry and hold it in your arms. x

Love you everyone

Alison xx
M/C @ 9W+ in Dec 2004 MC @ 7.5 weeks April 2010 xx
Natural BFP 21/11/2010 hoping for a sticky one - Its TWINS!!! xx
Diagnosed March 2008
Low Carb diet June09 Met - 3x 500g since Dec09. Lost 3 and a half stone.
5mg folic Acid May10
The twins have arrived 1st May 2011 at 27+6 weeks! Sarah 2lb4 & Rebecca 2lb10 both doing well
Image
alison86
 
Posts: 349
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2008 1:44 pm
Location: Dundee

Postby Nicola1 » Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:02 pm

Haraspace & Alison,

You WILL get through this, I promise you!

I have just passed my first milestone last Saturday at 17 weeks, this was the gestation of my last m/c, I have 3 more milestones to make plus to hit 32-34 weeks would be a miracle.

I can't encourage you enough to keep on believing you will be a Mummy soon, we say every time 'enough' but we keep on going, determination is everything.

Love to all & PMA!

Hope - any news yet?

Nicola x
Dec '06 - m/c 17 wks
Sept '05 - m/c 23.5 wks
Sept '04 - m/c 19wks

'If you want the rainbow, sometimes you gotta put up with the rain'

Image
Nicola1
 
Posts: 568
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:28 am
Location: Ribble Valley

Postby hope07 » Sun Aug 24, 2008 3:56 pm

Oh Mother, My Mother

Oh mother, my mother
I touch your tears
invisible fingers
soothing your skin
I know you think of me so often
in the day, in the night,
in your dreams
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am...in your heart
in your soul, I shall always be
for you gave so unselfishly
of yourself.
Inside of you, you created
such a world for me
a wolrd of laughter, of love
of sadness, of sorrow
every emotion people come to know
you shared with me.
And even though I may never
feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby, singing me to sleep
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me
nurturing me
preparing me for things to come.
But sometimes the journey
of life pulls souls apart
and yes, I had to go on
to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision
I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this wherever you are:
I will always remember
that yours was the first love
the first joy, the first soul
I will ever know.
You gave me the courage to
go on in my journey
I hope I can do the same
for you
Your heart beat will always
call me to you.

Love, your child

I found this poem on another site and it really struck a chord with me- I hope you don't mind me sharing X
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
Posts: 3788
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:02 pm

Postby Gill » Sun Aug 24, 2008 6:31 pm

That reminded me so much of my Megan. Thank you.
She would have been a year old on 18th September.
Image Image ImageImage
Image
Gill
 
Posts: 2131
Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:24 pm
Location: Stockton-on-Tees, Cleveland.

Postby hope07 » Mon Aug 25, 2008 8:15 am

My baby would have been due 28-08-08, so feeling a little bit sensitive at the moment. Its amazing how the EDD creeps up on you- Hope everyone else is well x
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
Posts: 3788
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:02 pm

Postby MsMara » Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:09 am

that is so sad :(

hugs to everyone. hope, i dont know what to say, but a massive hug is on its way to you. xx
The best thing about life is that it's never so bad that it can't get worse.

Trying to lose 6 stone
Image
MsMara
 
Posts: 1924
Joined: Sat May 24, 2008 10:59 pm
Location: Bristol

Postby Haraspace » Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:21 pm

Hello everyone,

thanks for the (((hugs))) and the good energy. Yes, I hope one good day will come and we will be proud mothers.

Keep on girls, never give up, we may feel like crap time to time, but we must never stop in persuing our mission!!!

I just got news from an old friend, she is pregnant with twins and another one has just given birth. It makes me feel horrible, really, because in the one hand I am happy for them, in the other hand I feel none of them would ever get close to understand how we feel, they only feel pity against us, and I hate that.

I visited my parents in my home country, and old neighbourgs where continiously asking when we will have children...."as if it was just so easy!!!" I was quietly "shouting"in my head....but had to give the polite answer of...."not the right moment yet!" ..very frustrating...very frustrating...but I keep telling myself that one day it will be my day and all this would be just a bad dream.

I have chosen to protect myself from the negative feelings and give it another try, so join in in my filosofy........

Girls...I keep you all in my thoughts.

Haraspace XXX
Haraspace
 

PreviousNext

Return to Pregnancy Loss

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron