CAN'T DEAL WITH IT

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CAN'T DEAL WITH IT

Postby rcf1991 » Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:21 pm

Since having a miscarriage 4 years ago I've found it difficult to get over. I was gettin to a place where things were gettin easier but then was diagnosed with PCOS in November. Still not really sure on what's going on but have doctors with specialist in August. After finding out that I might have difficulties having children and my hormones are all over the place the feelings of the miscarriage has came flooding back and I can't seem to handle it. How can I still be upset over something that happened 4 years ago and loosing something I never had! It's got to the point that I get upset seeing pregnant people in the supermarket and I don't know what to do. I really want children and me and my partner have been having unprotected sex for years and nothing has happened again.

I'm crying constantly and I want to talk to my partner about it but I don't want to upset him too!

AAAHHHH!!!!!!
rcf1991
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:39 pm

Re: CAN'T DEAL WITH IT

Postby gemstone83 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:42 am

rfc1991 - I know exactly how you feel. I had my thrid miscarraige 5 weeks ago and it just makes my first seem worse. I have spoken with some of my mothers friends who have struggled to have children and had several miscarraiges and they say it never goes away but does get easier to deal with. A loss is a loss at whatever stage and for however long you had your baby it was your baby and you made dreams and plans for that baby so why shouldn't you feel sad and upset at having lost something you loved. I think it is very hard for people who have not gone through a miscarriage to understand which is why I have found verity so wonderful in making me feel I am not a freak and totally alone.

Have you ever spoken to anyone about your loss? Friend/family/professional. I have personally found being honest with people much better for me and you would be surprised how many people have struggled and have lost but felt they had to keep it a secret. I have also been seeing a councellor and have found this extremely useful in dealing with my grief and emotions and trying to focus on positive steps such as losing weight and exercising instead of crying on the floor for hours (yes I have been there and done that many times) and sitting and eating chocolate. Do not get me wrong I still have sdome extremely dark days which is to be expected.

I would view your diagnosis of PCOS as a very positive step. It is the most treatable casue of infetility. You now have a reason you have struggled to get pregnant (50% of couples have unexplained infertility) you are seeing a consultant in August and they will perform more tests and put together a treatment plan so you will now be moving forward and getting closer to your dream of a child. It must be terribly frustrating to have been trying for 4 years with no medical help.

I have put together a plan for the 10 weeks following my m/c until I see my consultant. I have done everything I can to have a baby except get my BMI under 25. I have manged to lose 13 pounds in 4 weeks and let me tell you they have been hard earnt pounds. Its only a suggestion but maybe you could do something similar it passes the time and gives you something to focus your attention on. It may be an exercise goal, weight, lifestyle etc.

If you want any more info about what they could ask, tests they will do, possible treatment options etc just ask. We are here for you. Sorry for the long post but I hope you found it useful.
TTC since June 2010
August 2011 - Aug 2013 3 first tri miscarriages and a mmc at 12 weeks
Sticky Blood/Hughes Syndrome/APS diagnosed
Lletz November 2012 following abnormal smear
Beautiful baby girl born July 2014 with the help of 150mg aspirin, fragmin, cyclogest, high dose folic acid and a stitch
Image
gemstone83
 
Posts: 1240
Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 10:38 am
Location: Skipton, North Yorkshire

Re: CAN'T DEAL WITH IT

Postby rcf1991 » Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:04 pm

Hi gemstone83 thanks for your reply.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage its so unfair.

Only a small amount of people know about my miscarriage, my partner, my best friend and my sisters because I was still 17 at the time I wasn't going to tell my parents until I passed 12 weeks and still haven't told them. I prefer talking on here to someone I don't know somehow I find it easier and the ladies on here are going through the same thing. I have been thinking about going to see a councillor to see if it helps. Ive realised my hormones are getting really bad when I'm due my period and I'm having really dark days during that time. Ive started going running beside the beach where I stay it's helping me relax an just zone out as I'm concentrating on running. But it's scary how emotional I'm getting at that time of the month it's as if I'm a different person!

Well done you on loosing the weight! I'm finding it quite difficult as the girls at work always have chocolate and cakes and they are so skinny so it's ok or them haha. But it'll get easier once I set my mind to it.

I've been to the GP and on metformin at the moment but not sure what the specialist is going to ask me so if you have any advice that would be great.

Thank you xx
rcf1991
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:39 pm

Re: CAN'T DEAL WITH IT

Postby gemstone83 » Tue Jul 03, 2012 9:12 pm

My pct need you to have a bmi under 30 for treatment to start.

They asked me about my periods and symptoms and then arranged blood tests which i had on day 2 and day 21 (this is actually a confusing name as it is actually a 7 days past ovulation test) they only way I have been to time these correctly is by taking my basal body temp with a simple thermometer as soon as i wake and then enter it into free online software at www.fertilityfriend.com I personally have found this v useful and my consultant likes to see my charts but soke can be not very nice about it.

Then after the bloods I had a hystersalpingogram or hyscosy which is a small proceedure that puts dye into your tubes to check they are open and then I was prescribed clomid and have been pregnant twice in 3 months using it.

Xx
TTC since June 2010
August 2011 - Aug 2013 3 first tri miscarriages and a mmc at 12 weeks
Sticky Blood/Hughes Syndrome/APS diagnosed
Lletz November 2012 following abnormal smear
Beautiful baby girl born July 2014 with the help of 150mg aspirin, fragmin, cyclogest, high dose folic acid and a stitch
Image
gemstone83
 
Posts: 1240
Joined: Fri May 29, 2009 10:38 am
Location: Skipton, North Yorkshire


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