Hi all,
I am really sorry to post this it is really selfish. I have been reading and following posts on Verity for a long time but rarely have the courage to post myself. But today I have got myeslf all upset and didn't know where to turn.
My friend has just given birth today to a little girl. I am obviously happy for her and happy that both mum and baby are ok. Me and my husband are not activiely trying right now but we are not not trying if that makes sense Right now I am concentrating on getting myself healthy and lose some weight.
What makes it sooo hard is that she did not plan to get pregnant and is not in a great place right now. She was even on contrapception and it makes me so jealous that she was able to conceive and have a healthy little girl. Even more challenging I have just found out she is calling her the name we were thinking about if we had a girl.
I am desperately trying to just be pleased for her and really want to be able to be there for her and meet her little girl and I HATE feeling so jealous and angry. I feel so selfish that all I can think is "Its not fair". I want to have a temper tantrum MY husband is great and says our time will come and it will be more special and points out that it may not be difficult for us when we start really trying to conceive. But we have to weight untill he knows he has a contract for next year in work and I need to lose more weight and get healthier but still I just want to cry and I am not sure I can go and see them yet!
How do you deal with these feelings?
I am sorry this is such a long ranting post, I even feel selfish for posting this as we haven't been not using contraception for long and not seriously trying yet and I know that some of you are much further along the journey. so thank you for reading and I am sorry again.
Kat