How do you know when its time to move on?

A place where you can discuss adoption and moving on after the TTC journey

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How do you know when its time to move on?

Postby Debbs » Thu Sep 02, 2010 5:59 pm

We have just had another failed FET and every step feel like its bringing me closer to never having my own child. I def wil adopt if that happens its just this middle phase that killing me. Every negative is ripping me slowly apart.

When and how did you decide to let go? Im not ready yet, I need to have another try but I just wondered from experience if you felt ready to give up, adopt etc or it just happened that way.

Sorry if this is too personal ladies

Debbs
xxxxx
TTC since May/06
Sept/09 ICSI#1 Chem preg
Jan/10 FET#1 BFN
June/10 ICSI#2 BFN
Aug/10 FET#2 BFN
Jan/11 ICSI#3-BFP
NK cells, normal with elevated CD19 & CD5 immunes
Heterozygous+ PAI-1 gene polymorphism
Heterozygous+ MTHFR gene mutation
Image
Debbs
 
Posts: 2401
Joined: Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:55 pm
Location: Wales

Postby zanussi » Fri Sep 03, 2010 11:28 am

Hi Debbs

I an completely understand what you mean although I'm coming to the decision from a slightly different angle.

We're just about to go for our 2nd ICSI attempt and we've already said that if we get the same result as last (ie no fertilisation) then we'll call it a day and move on. This is a fairly easy decision to make since if they can't get fertilisation under lab conditions we don't stand a chance and we're not prepared to consider egg or sperm donation at this time.

If we get a bit further along but still no baby then who knows? I think I'd want to try again but we're going to cross that bridge when we get to it. I think we'd have to set ourselves a limit at that point and say we're only going to try once more as I don't think I could take the heartache anymore.

It's such a hard decision to make as you always think next time it'll be different but for some of us it's just not meant to be that way.

It sounds weird but a small part of me is hoping that we get the same result this time round so that we can close this chapter of our lives and move on although the bigger part of me is desperate for it to work.

Hope you can come to decision that makes you happy xxxx
zanussi
 
Posts: 572
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:33 pm

Postby hope07 » Thu Sep 09, 2010 6:55 pm

Debbs- When we went for IVF we decided we'd only give it the one go- or two if we had frosties- At the time I felt like I just couldn't take any more ups and downs that come with long term TTC- and my mind was very much made up- I think we'd just gone on for so long that all my life seemed to be about was TTC which was so horrible and for the best part of 5 years took over- so for me I knew where my cut off point was...but as you know I was very very lucky with my IVF, but I will never forget all the heartache we went through- and I think it was my need to end the heartache that I set myself the cut off point-
I'd decided to adopt or if we couldn't for whatever the reason I was going to start breeding labbies, and fill my house with dogs- Ineeded another goal so set my sights on that.
Its so so hard and I really feel for you hun- sending massive hugs X
7 -1st Trimester M/C's- TTC since Oct 05

Mummy to two beautiful children
1 DS- IVF
1 DD- Natural BFP
hope07
 
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Postby Debbs » Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:26 pm

Thanks Zanussi and Hope.

So much rolls through your head doesn't it. I'm just getting so fed up of it all and having 'no life'. We were ready for children years ago and feel so left behind by it all.

Thanks again ladies, hope your both ok

Debbs
xxxxx
TTC since May/06
Sept/09 ICSI#1 Chem preg
Jan/10 FET#1 BFN
June/10 ICSI#2 BFN
Aug/10 FET#2 BFN
Jan/11 ICSI#3-BFP
NK cells, normal with elevated CD19 & CD5 immunes
Heterozygous+ PAI-1 gene polymorphism
Heterozygous+ MTHFR gene mutation
Image
Debbs
 
Posts: 2401
Joined: Fri Feb 23, 2007 10:55 pm
Location: Wales


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