*sigh* ...godparent, again

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*sigh* ...godparent, again

Postby PixieChick » Sun Jul 04, 2010 10:28 pm

I know I should be flattered to be asked to be a godparent again but I can't help feeling I'm getting the 'sympathy vote'.

Friends of ours who I know would never ever do or say anything to offend me have asked me and hubby to be godparents to their son with a kinda 'well, you two would make such good parents but you know...' then they trail off and dont finish the sentence.

Am I being over sensitive? I actually cried and managed to pull it off that I was so pleased to be asked ....but i don't think I was :cry:
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Postby Ruby » Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:12 am

:(

*hugs*

What a crap situation to be in. If you can't handle it I'd say go back to them and say 'to be honest I don't think I can be the godparent you'd want me to be to your son, so I'm going to have to decline'. If they're real friends they'll understand.

I am only godmother to my nephew who was born on my 21st - very special! I think I would freak out too if a friend asked me, especially saying something along those lines too!
Natural BFP 8.7.10, EDD 11.3.11, Baby Boy born 5.3.11
Surprise Natural BFP 28.01.13, EDD 5.10.13, Baby Girl born 13.9.13
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Postby PixieChick » Mon Jul 05, 2010 10:45 am

Thanks Ruby, it's nice to know that someone understands this...I thought I was just being a moody cow at first!

I'm not bitter that they have children and we don't but it just hurts...it hurts a lot and it's things like this that are a reminder.

Usually it's stupid and unimportant things that set me off like videos of kids doing daft things on you've been framed because I know I won't have those videos and memories to look back on in years to come...nativity plays are tear inducing too, I think for the same reason.

I felt a little awkward as well about being a godparent as they are catholic and I just don't do religion. I feel a hypocrite standing in a church and saying things that I don't believe in... I know I would protect their children the same as I would my own and I think thats what really matters but it doesnt feel right somehow :?

They have two boys and they are both just gorgeous kids but I feel like I distance myself from them and can't 'love' them because it's too painful.

I think I may have to arm myself with a bottle of wine, box of tissues and go round for a chat.
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Postby Rache » Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:48 pm

I really feel for you cause I am a godparent to my nephew and my best friends's 2nd daughter. Obviously I was over the moon to be godmother to my nephew but when my bestfriend asked me, I cried and cried. I felt like they were asking me cause I might never have children! I was talked round (by family) and obviously now don't regret it at all even though I only see her once a year (she lives on the Isle of Man).

You'll come to the right decision for you honey x
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Godparent x3

Postby piptom2121 » Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:51 pm

Hi
I was asked to be godparent to a friends x3 children - the 3rd mainly because he was born the day before my wedding. I agreed and love them all dearly, however when she had her 4th I declined. I like you felt it was a - you can't have your own etc.etc. However that said she also discussed who'd take the the children if she passed away (long story but different dads - some not around). Anyway she went straight to - my sister, my mum etc (her family shun her and on and off don't speak to her) I felt as a godparent I'd agreed to commit to them time, energy and love and would have been in the running - that was my understanding of a godparent. Anyway when she asked for a 4th time I declined. I don't want to be a paper only token donation thing. Perhaps I'm sounding harsh. But I'd put it to them - if you're going to decline say - would you want me to raise.... little xyz if something happened to you as that's my understanding and I'm not religious so don't feel i'd do the right thing etc. it's a way out. Above all I think it's a nice gesture but you're right to feel it's not wanted if it's a pity thing. - did I just rant? :shock: On the other hand you may find they say - actually yeah we felt if something happened to us.... we trust and love... we know you'd love him/her like your own in which case it's more than a sympathy vote?

Pip

xxx

Ps - hope my ickle rant helps?
TTC since 2006
05/09 -
10mg Letrozole - OV - BFN
06/09
10mg Letrozole - Good size follicle
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