Thanks girls,
Yesterday was such an emotional day, it totally drained me. Luckily I suppose I had my GTT test today so had an antenatal check and blood pressure is fine, so I guess I have to be pleased that my brain melt isn't having an impact on the bump!
I also took the opportunity to chat to my sister properly yesterday and confessed all. She suggested that just me and her run off together with the kids because of how unhappy she is with her OH!!! But seriously, has welcomede at hers if I needed time apart.
Having the time to myself at the hospital today has helped me process things, I think I need to have a conversation with him so he knows everything isn't rosy, and explain how I'm feeling, but make it something we need to work out in the New Year. We'd planned some time away as a family which hasn't been booked, but is planned for October now so I'm thinking that's when we need to talk it out as there will no (work) distractions. I feel a bit cowardly leaving it so long, and also keeping the other guy info to myself.
My deceptive side feels I've gone so long pretending everything is ok so a few more weeks shouldn't make much difference.