It sounds like you have a lot to think about... Were you ever happy with your husband the way you are with your new partner? Did you have a connection like that at the beginning, and if yes when and why it ended? As for your new partner - do you think you may move on to a less exciting life with him once you get a mortgage and start decorating and providing for children, etc? Is he not going to run when you come and join him with your two children? Will he be happy to support the three of you?
I realise the new partner is all the excitement and adventure that makes you feel like you are alive again, after a long life of just existing, but the excitement and feeling of adventure won't last - do you think you will be better off with him when things settle down?
Another question is - has your husband and you just drifted apart because life got between you (and there are so many things to do) and you both (or one of you) cannot be bothered to look after the relationship properly? Or do you have truly nothing in common any more? My ex and me were like that - we did not have anything in common at all, he would not do anything with me, he would not even go to a cinema with me - to many people and not enough fresh air - was the excuse!



If you decide to walk away from you marriage - I think you should ask for something. You may have the affair, but who made you feel like you needed one? The blame is on both sides... He sounds stubborn and controlling, accusing you of never being satisfied while all you want is to improve your family life and marriage. His main priority may be wealth, but yours is happiness - who is he to tell you that what he wants is more important in life than what you want????!
When I was stuck in my previous marriage, with nothing in common between us (my ex was blissfully happy as well, as he was getting everything he needed from me - an extra income, organised and clean house, help with his 2 daughters, meals on time, washing done, etc etc etc), an advice from my work colleague was all I needed to realise that my life was all wrong. He was married when he was 18, had 2 kids, split up with his wife and left her everything at 34, 6 months later she told him to take over the house and the kids and she moved out - she could not handle the boys on her own. He than met his new partner who had a child of her own and they are still happy together. He is 73 now. Is just proves to me that you can start over again and still have a great life with the love of your life... I left my ex when I was 31. We did not have any children though as I think I realised the whole time he was not the right partner for me.
I hope you will manage to sort your life soon, and be happy. Let us know how you get on.
Good luck. x