by Sammi » Wed Oct 12, 2011 8:42 am
This is a tough one. And it's a problem if two parts, the sleep talking/Melissa and your OH not wanting to be at the birth.
As for the sleep talking, I wouldnt read too much into it. Your lives are changing big style with the imminent arrival of your baby. Changes in your life can often mean vivid, down right strange dreams. It may be bringing back memories of his sons birth and how he didn't enjoy it (maybe circumstantial because he secretly wished he was doing it with the love of his life and not a one night stand). He might feel guilty that this baby is so wanted, so loved already and it's so different to how his son arrived inthe world. He may be wishing things had been different (not for one second regretting his son). I think all of that will probably make anyone havedreams with strong feelings, and his just happened to be verbalized! Remember it's only a dream and not real life. I have lost count of the times I have 'dream cheated' with some odd people. I always wake up feeling a bit bad, but I know I didn't do anything wrong.
If it's niggling you, and inyour heavily pregnant, hormonal state I can see how it would! I would just explain what happened to him and how it makes you feel. You know he didn't mean it etc. And hopefully it will cue happy words and cuddles to make you feel better.
As for the birth. He obviously has strong feelings about not being there. Did he have a bad experience with his sons birth? Sometimes men can't separate the image of his wife squeezing out a baby of the same parts he makes love to. Maybe this happened last time and contributed to their break up and this is why he is determined for it not to happen with you.
I think men can have the most sensible and heartfelt ideas, they just don't explain and express their feelings as well as we do, which makes us wonder why the hell they say/do somethings. Either way, he is your other half, the daddy of your baby, you need to tell him these feelings because men aren't psychic (unfortunately).
No cycle for me, male factor infertility for H. Clomid resistant.
IVF#1 July/August 2013 at Bourn Hall - 35 eggs collected, 22 fertilised and frozen due to OHSS.
FET#1 December 2013 - BFP on Christmas Day!
It's going to be alright in the end. If it's not alright it's not the end.