Phobias

[olivekxc]

So, i don't know if anyone will be able to help but i thought i'd start here as everyone is so lovely on here. i warn you this will be long and probably a bit strange.

I have a major phobia of animals. All animals. Cats, Dogs, mice, fish, birds etc. It is becoming a bit of an issue. I have begun to avoid going to anyone's house that has pets and this is definitely affecting my life. This weekend we were walking home across the park and my sister kept pointing out the bats flying above us. then, as per usual, we got into an argument about it. She always tells me to just get over it, but i can't. I get shaky and feel sick, my hands go clammy. at worst i freeze and can't physically move. so we were walking across the park and then she said 'whats it going to do? fly into you? or...' then she grabbed me and shook me and shouted its going to get you! i burst in to tears and snatched my arm away from her. this obviously shook her too and then we argued all the way home. i explained how i feel but when she asked me why i feel this way and what i expect the animal to do i couldn't answer her. I just don't know what to do. i don't know why i am like this. i don't know how to cope. another issue i had recently was my BF and i were invited to a BBQ, the first thing i asked him was do they have any pets? we found out they had a dog and i said we would go. then i was walking to work that day and started thinking about it and i started crying. The thought of going to their house scared the crap out of me. I ended up telling my BF i didnt think i could do it. he's very understanding but i feel so mean that i'm stopping him from doing things he wants to do.

I do feel like its getting worse. I'm 29 and i dont want to be like this (or worse) for the rest of my life. I have tried hypnotherapy, but as i couldn't tell them what about animals i was afraid of they couldn't help me. I have tried just going to friends houses but i can't sit and be comfortable. i end up just watching the pet and not joining in the conversations.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Any tips I would be really grateful.

xx

[jen234]

Hi Olivekxc i have a phobia of reptiles and amphibians i can't even watch them on telly let alone go into a reptile house. what i think you should to overcome your fear is ask a friend who has a small pet like a goldfish or hamster let it in your house ( obviously not running around) but put it in a room different from were your going to be and try not to think about and get on with daily task and gradully move it into a room that your going to be i and just think to yourself it's in cage of fish tank whichever small animal you get first and tell yourself it can't get you or do anything else to you. and then gradully work your way up to a larger animal like a bird or rabbit and then do the same with that and just keep working your way up to bigger animals even if it takes you a good couple of years to conquer your fear at least your trying to do somehting about it.hope this helps
jen x

[Hols969]

Do you know if anything triggered off this fear?

I agree with Jen to do small steps, there must be something that triggered this initially. Perhaps you heard about someone being bitten or something which triggered the fear. If you can try and think back to when it started then you may be able to see why it was triggered. I think your mind can be very powerful so you need to be able to have the tools to overcome it (like any sort of anxiety) so perhaps go to your GP and they may be able to refer you. All you need is some sort of 'mental' help to try and deal with it. It may never be your ideal situation being in house with a dog but it may help so that your life isnt ruled by it as you are obviously worried it is getting worse.

Maybe you can say exactly how you feel when it gets triggered and they may be able to say that when that happens do this which will help you cope. I do think that if you leave it it can escalate as your mind is so powerful.

Let us know how things go.

[Constance]

Oh dear, I feel so sorry for you. Your sister has such a rude approach to the problem - it's like trying to teach somebody afraid of water to swim by throwing them in a deep lake and saying - it'only water, swim, what are you afraid of?

There must be some help available somewhere??? - sorry - I don't know myself where to go for help - try your GP perhaps?

Lots of hugs for you - let us know how you are getting on. ((((((( olivekxc)))))))

[olivekxc]

Thanks all.

I have booked an appointment to see my doctor tomoro, hopefully he can suggest something.
I can't think of a time when i wasn't afraid, but i did have a fairly traumatic time when i was 9. 2 dogs fighting in a room i was stuck in. but i was afraid long before this.....
the strange thing is i am more than happy to be in a room where there is another animal, if it is in a cage or tank. i love going to the zoo etc but its when the animal is loose that i freak out. i really dread even the idea of trying to deal with this problem, but i really do want to sort it out, even if i dont go around stroking pets i want to be able to go to peoples houses with out freaking out!

Thank you for your support ladies, i will let you know what the doctor says.

[Debbs]

I think you sound like you want to deal with the issue which is always the first step. I'm afraid of birds and try so hard to get over it as im currently pregnant and dont want to pass it on to my kids. Yeah like its that easy hey. Last week I was crying hysterically in a town centre cos a bird came too close to me! I've no real idea why im scared either. I know I dont like the flappy wing part however.

If its animals outside of cages you dont like have you got a good friend with a well trained dog who could help you? Perhaps lock it in another room for the first few visits etc and then move up? Even perhaps visit when the dog is out first? I really hope your doc is able to help as it really sounds like its affecting your life. Birds are one thing, animals are another.

Hope your sis grows up and starts to realise its not as simple as she may think it is. Good luck.

Debbs
xxxxx

[olivekxc]

hiya everyone, thought I'd let u know what's going on. I went to the docs and he has referred me to the therapy nurses at my surgery. they deal with cognitive behaviour therapy. they may not be able to help as it's a big phobia but I start there and see how we go.

spoke to my sis again about it and she apologised right off. she said that she didn't realise how serious it was because I've never really explained how bad it is.

debbs, I think ull find u will be stronger in front of ur kids as u have already acknowledged u don't want to pass it on to them.

take care all. xxx

[Hols969]

Thats a good start olive. Yes having children does force you to cope. I used to suffer from panic attacks and having Noah has helped me through it. Im not perfect by any means and my mind can take over sometimes but I know I have to do it for Noah's sake!

[GillyRose]

I used to have quite a few phobias - Spiders (to the point where I'd hyperventilate and cry if I saw one) clowns, heights.

A friend of mine was studying NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and asked if I would be her guinea pig. I agreed and I have to say I no longer have any of these phobias. If needed, I can happily pick up a spider and put it outside now!

People mistake it for hypnotherapy, and while its within the same family, it isnt the same. The way I would describe it is like a guided meditation where you are constantly aware of whats going on around you and you are in control.

I'd very highly recommend it, I went into it extremely sceptical and now I cant get enough of it. Take a look into it, it cant do any harm x