school run struggle

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school run struggle

Postby Constance » Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:18 am

I urgently need some advice, Ladies, as our weekday mornings are starting to annoy me and I seem to be doing nothing but shouting, which really bothers me because I don't want to do that.

Has anyone gone through a phase when your child did not listen to what you said??? I tend to keep asking Daniel (again and again and again) to clean his teeth, take of his pjs, stand still when I'm dressing him, sit down and have his breakfast, put his shoes on, etc, etc, etc. The list goes on and on and it happens more and more every morning. We get up at 7 am and the school is only 10 min walk away, and we are never late, but the effort that is required from me is just silly. I feel like instead of having a nice morning with him, talk a bit, have breakfast together I keep reminding him numerous times to do one thing or another and by the time we leave I'm so fed up I don't even want to talk to him any more on the way! And this is while I'm on maternity leave and don't have to get myself ready for work and the baby for the nursery as well.

Is there anything I can do to have calmer morning routine??? Sometimes I feel like only a good smacking will help, I don't want to go down this road though... He is normally quite a good child, so this stubbornness and deaf ears in the mornings really get on my nerves.

Thanks...
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Baby boy born on 25/06/09
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Re: school run struggle

Postby gemstone83 » Tue Jan 28, 2014 4:04 pm

I don't have any children yet but I have done lots and lots of babysitting/mothers helper type jobs and in most of the households with more than one child they had a star chart with some reward at the end of week such as swimming/toy/sweets/dvd night/trip to zoo for reaching so many stars. So if you had a list in order of when he does things maybe with pictures and put it in a place that he can reach he can put the stars on the chart himself (this was always one of their favorite parts) and over the next few weeks he might not need as much reminding or may even do it nearly all by himself.

Good luck xx
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Re: school run struggle

Postby Hols969 » Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:06 pm

Does he watch tv in the morning, if so it may be worth drilling into him when this program finishes tv is off and then get ready to go and if he wont comply then he cant watch tv. Noah is quite a slow waker a bit like me so likes time to chill out first and watch a bit of tv and a bit of 'me' time. But saying all that they do get into stubborn mode and actually there is not much you can do, except what you are doing and it can be a horrible start to the day. Next time he wont get dressed say he will go in his pyjama's and follow through with it (obviously with school clothes in a bag), Noah actually hated the thought of having to go in his pj's and it did work.... Oh the other thing Ive just remember that really got Noah going, without too much reminding, was a competition as to who could get dressed first (I used to put his socks on as he could never do that and go upstairs (as he always dresses in the warm kitchen) and shout at the top of the stairs when Im coming down.... always worked... nothing like a bit of competition... unfortunately he wasn't really into stars and a chart type thing so it never worked for us.

Good luck....
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Re: school run struggle

Postby espoir » Wed Jan 29, 2014 12:38 am

I can't help much, as OH is the one that gets our eldest ready (but he's only 3), but he is really no nonsense about it. My friend complains about her DS ignoring what she's saying (he's 8), so maybe it's something that's not that unusual. We are in the tantrum/meltdown phase with DS, and I'm just sticking to giving my DS 2 choices, and hoping that will continue as he gets older - I like Hols suggestions - I do know of a mum who took her DD in her PJs if she wasn't ready in time, as the mum had to be at work on time.

I also really liked the book How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk. It helps understand things from both sides, and sometimes you need to change your own behaviour to get the results you want from your child. The book has practical tips and real-life examples. I learned a lot from it, and will dip into it again soon now that DS is older.
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Re: school run struggle

Postby Yvette75 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:17 pm

Mornings here are like a military operation! I have everything ready the night before and mine know that they have to do what I say when I say it. Occasionally I do have to shout to get them into action but less often as Christopher and Emily have both got a bit older. It will get better!
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Re: school run struggle

Postby CasTTC » Thu Jan 30, 2014 11:21 pm

My daughter has mornings like this and although she doesn't ask for one a glass of milk straight after she wakes seems to bring her round and able to listen/cooperate/ etc. Competition definitely works in this house. Used to be against daddy to get dressed but sometimes she'd get so stressed about losing that she'd demand I dressed her which I didn't want to encourage. So now it's a competition with herself. As in I bet Zoe can't put her own clothes on all by herself etc. she's determined to show us she can then. Win!

We never watch tv in the morning unless she's fully dressed and ready to go and we're too early which is rare to never! We keep both kids upstairs in morning and try to stay calm. I used to shout but it always backfires and doesn't help at all. Most things are a phase. I'd def try the drink of milk though. Sometimes she turns from a monster to my angel within 2 sips!
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Re: school run struggle

Postby Lenny » Sun Feb 09, 2014 5:34 pm

Mine are 4 & 5, we have this almost every day (4 yr old not at school yet but has to get ready with his brother as we can't leave him behind!)

If everyone ends up downstairs in PJs, bring all clothes/toothbrushes downstairs too and then they don't waste time running up & down stairs multiple times & forgetting teeth/socks etc

I help my 5 year old with socks & with getting his collar turned out over his jumper, but other than that he gets himself dressed

If he doesn't eat his breakfast - tough, he goes to school without it

We do have TV on in the mornings but there is a point at which it is turned off & they know they have to get ready if they have not already done so of their own accord (approx 20mins before we have to leave the house)
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Re: school run struggle

Postby Constance » Thu Feb 13, 2014 6:11 pm

Thank you for your comments.

Lenny, we don't normally go downstairs till all of us are dressed and washed.

What happens in the mornings is: Daniel wakes up and joins me in our bed (DH is up by then), our little one is in with us at the similar time, we watch some telly, then I get up and get ready while the boys are still watching, then we switch off the telly and this is where I never stop talking. :roll: Please do this, please do that, have you done this, that ,etc. OMG. And I normally have to do it all myself. There was one day this week when he decided to show me he could dress himself, and I was really really amazed. But it was only one day, I may just take your advice, ladies, and see if I can encourage him to do it more, otherwise it's me fighting all the chores while the baby gets impatient (I guess the baby /does not help as he creates the atmosphere of urgency). We normally wake up before 7, get D's out of bed at 7:45 , get downstairs around 8:10 and leave the house at 8:50, so there is plenty of time for everything, he just won't do any of that if I don't stop talking or for example feed him myself, and as I have to deal with the baby as well, my time cannot be devoted just to Daniel, iykwim.

CasTTC - he does have a drink of milk first thing in the morning.

Hols - he does not mind leaving the telly, but there are other things that will distract him afterwards - it's constant playing with everything, it does not help that his playroom is next to the kitchen and he is off before I put his breakfast on the table

gemstone - thanks, some sort of competition and a chart may help, I just need to get one somewhere...

xxx
M/C Jan 2008
Diagnosed PCOS Apr 2008
Baby boy born on 25/06/09
M/C Jan 2012
Baby boy born on 31/05/13

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Re: school run struggle

Postby michelle79 » Tue Feb 18, 2014 8:49 pm

I got some magnetic star charts from Amazon so you can reuse the stars. Daniel gets up at 7.30 (awake earlier though) and watches tv while i shower and get dressed and make breakfast. k gets up at 8pm and has breakfast, then they both get dressed, daniel completely by himself and k with a little help, then its teeth and face and shoes on and hair and then they can play. We leave at 8.50 at the latest. I put all the uniform and underwear out the night before and bring it down in the AM. Daniel wants to play and moans about not having enough time to play with his toys so i say the faster he gets ready the more time he'll have to play. i think sometimes if us mums nag too much, kids are like husbands and just switch off to it. maybe try a more calm approach and get up straight away, get everything done and then chill before you have to leave then things might feel less rushed. Say things once but in a firm tone and if he doesn't move say something like "now please" and when it's done he gets a star.
i hope you find an answer because it's nice to have the time with our LOs to be nice time if possible. I have more problems at the end of the day when they're tired and crabby, especially when dh is away and I've been at work!
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