Mums of 3+ kids

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Mums of 3+ kids

Postby espoir » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:07 pm

How do you cope??!!! My oldest is almost 3 and the twins are 6 months. I found the 6 month age with my oldest quite difficult, so am hoping that because we are at that stage and the fact that we're all sick at the moment is the reason behind my negative feelings at the moment. I guess my main concern is that I don't have enough time for the twins, and feel they are lagging a bit developmentally (although in reality they are probably normal). They've started going to nursery which gives me a break, and also I feel at least they will get more action there than at home....but as time goes on I'm really wondering how we will cope with the 3, especially when I go back to work. Would love to hear of how you've managed and tips to keep your sanity and not to feel stretched and still have time for your DH!
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Re: Mums of 3+ kids

Postby Yvette75 » Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:26 pm

((((((((Espoir)))))) be gentle with yourself. I have 3, but I had singletons who are now almost 5 and half, almost 3 and a half and 17 months. I don't think I could cope with a 3 year old and 6 month old twins!

I find that organising everything is the key to success. All the clothes are laid out the night before so we can all get up at 7am and out at 8.30am for the walk to school. I don't negotiate and the kids know that when I tell them they have to get their teeth brushed, shoes on, hurry up and eat their breakfast that I mean it. The bag is always packed and ready to go and I couldn't live without a double pushchair. Emily is still in the pram a lot and if she wasn't there is no way we could do what we do.

When mine were younger I used to go to groups that weren't too chaotic so I could keep tabs on the 2 year old whilst looking after a newborn.

I tried to get up and out every day and have a plan to do something, even if it was only a walk to the shops as being in all day was a nightmare.

I work 3 days per week and do feel like I am on a treadmill at times but I keep telling myself that it will get easier.

Yvette

PS No way am I having a 4th!
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Re: Mums of 3+ kids

Postby espoir » Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:31 pm

I haven't attempted taking the twins to anything, as we were always busy doing other things. They're going to nursery now though, so that gives them a bit more variety and stimulation and structure. Did/do you feel you're not giving all your kids equal attention? Do you feel Jessica has lost out a bit compared to the others? I know my two have the advantage of an older sibling but I do feel that I don't have the same time to devote to them or to sit and play with them.
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Re: Mums of 3+ kids

Postby Emma78 » Fri Jan 24, 2014 11:19 pm

Joel was 20mths old when I had Anya and Ewan, so for a shirt while I had 3 kids under 2yrs old :shock: My twins are now 3yrs 1mth and Joel will be 5 in April. It's been a flipping hard 3yrs and I've a fair few moments of uncontrolled sobbing, but I've survived, albeit with a few grey hairs and possibly a greater need for wine every weekend!

However, most importantly I have 3 happy, bright, spirited children. Joel, Anya and Ewan will never know any different than being a threesome. There are pros and cons to every family situation, be that an only child or a family with 6 kids, but I never feel Anya and Ewan have missed out. They might not get as much 1-2-1 time with me as Joel did, but they always have a ready made playmate and I've really seen their twin bond getting stronger over the past few months. There's also been no issues with their development from me not having as much time to play with them.
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Re: Mums of 3+ kids

Postby Yvette75 » Sat Jan 25, 2014 7:55 pm

As Emma says they get so much out of the chaos that is being one of 3 that I don't think that they miss out at all! Jessica was out at the stay and play with Emily and I when she was a week old. We also went every week to Jo Jingles and I run a local real nappy network so she was out with me showing off cloth nappies at just 2 weeks old too! Jessica has probably been out and about more in her first year than Christopher did. We rarely ate out with just one child (that said Christopher was difficult at mealtimes!) but we regularly eat out with 3.
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