Giving 4 yo bad news

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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Steph Pet! » Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:44 pm

Awe Claire sending you big hugs pet....thinking of you all....! :(
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby beshem » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:17 pm

Any more news? Hope it's positive.
After my earlier post about my dad we have found out the cancer has returned so he starts more chemo next month so will be speaking to my 4yr old about it all again soon. X
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby *~*PINKPIXIE*~* » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:07 pm

Beshem, I'm so sorry to hear that your dad's cancer has returned. This is all just so hard isn't it.

We met a neurosurgeon at Addenbrookes yesterday afternoon - my mum will be having an awake craniotomy to remove as much as possible in a few weeks' time, which is likely to be followed by radiotherapy. She's really keeping her spirits up, I'm very inspired by her attitude. She's at home under my dad's care until the op.

On top of that my MIL has been taken into hospital so I'm having to cook for and help my FIL every evening as he's 80 and very frail, Harry starts school on Monday and has inductions with his childminder next week too, some idiot slammed into the back of my car at a roundabout last week so I have all that to sort out and there's a lot of unsettlement and changes at work and I'm not sure how it's all going to pan out to the point that I've applied for another job internally. The kids are playing up too, and I feel totally exhausted. :(
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Hols969 » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:29 pm

OMG.... try and take a bit of 'me' time too though Claire, I dont want you exploding.... Is your OH helping out, especially with his dad ?????
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Steph Pet! » Sun Sep 15, 2013 8:33 pm

Claire how are things pet?
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby *~*PINKPIXIE*~* » Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:33 am

Thanks for asking. My mum has her pre-op stuff tomorrow at Addenbrookes and goes in on Monday for the op, bed allowing. She's very quiet and doesn't say anything unless you speak to her first and ask her a question that needs more than a nod or shrug, but the language and understanding is mostly there.

My MIL is out of hospital and managing so I have got my FIL out of my hair, and Harry is in week 2 of settling in to school and the childminder and it should be 'business as usual' from next week. I've sorted out the car and got that back, just wrangling over how much I get back for my child car seats now! And I have an interview for a secondment at work on Thursday.

I did actually 'explode' at my OH last week when it looked like FIL was becoming a permanent fixture, but then the MIL came out of hospital so the problem went away. Just need to focus on Monday's op and then helping the recovery now.
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby mojito1 » Mon Sep 16, 2013 6:41 pm

When the child bereavement charity were looking after us they suggested a book called "when dinosaurs die" its matter of fact but mindful. You can get it on amazon.
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby *~*PINKPIXIE*~* » Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:30 am

Thanks I'll have a look.
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby sal123 » Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:47 pm

I'm so sorry to hear your news it must have been such a shock. I think children understand a lot more than we give them credit for. My brother died when I was 6 & I remember everything. I guess just be vague unless he asks questions and let him know he can always talk about it even if it's upsetting.

Cruise charity is good for advice.
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Steph Pet! » Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:28 pm

Saw your FB Claire....hope you're ok pet x
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby *~*PINKPIXIE*~* » Fri Sep 27, 2013 6:32 pm

Just find myself wondering wtf is all for. My mum had her surgery Monday and seems to have lost her intellect and her emotions -cares about nothing and no one and personality changes that are so hard to accept. And we still have the appt to find out the full diagnosis and grade to come in next few weeks.

Then today to ice the cake I didn't get the secondment I went for, then nursery rang to tell me Edward had been sick everywhere twice and needed immediate collection, then my new childminder for Harry told me she was pregnant - and as my mum was my one and only plan b ... On top of finding out Edwards free 15 hrs a week won't start until sept rather than April as I'd thought and I just feel like jacking it all in and giving up working and making the effort. What, after all, is the point of working hard and trying to do the right thing when s**t happens whatever!
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Steph Pet! » Fri Sep 27, 2013 8:20 pm

Oh huney you're getting it from all angles at the moment....being a working Mum is hard enough without all the other sh*t you've got going on. If you want to have a coffee or something stronger anytime and a shoulder pet just shout....I'm only up the road! ((((hug))))
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Hols969 » Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:32 am

How's things going Claire ?
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby *~*PINKPIXIE*~* » Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:58 am

Oh it just gets worse and worse Holly, but thanks for asking. We got the worst possible diagnosis when we saw the consultant for the biopsy results. They didn't remove all of the tumour, and it's the most aggressive type of tumour called a glioblastoma. Basically it's terminal, grade 4 cancer of the brain. We're still embarking on radiotherapy and chemotherapy starting in a few weeks, but the consultant was very negative (I was very cross about this as my mum needs to get from day to day and so a little bit of hope wouldn't have gone amiss) and said it will be back in months not years. Prognosis is c. 12 months. She's still fighting though.
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Re: Giving 4 yo bad news

Postby Hols969 » Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:32 pm

Oh no I'm really sorry about that Claire, I agree a little positivity wouldn't go a miss, I know you have to be truthful but ...

Will be thinking of you xx
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