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A place for women with PCOS to talk about Motherhood & Pregnancy

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Postby ruby_1985 » Thu Mar 24, 2011 2:31 pm

p.s I was on my own for 4 years from been 7 months pregnant. I had no home, was heavily pregnant and only my maternity money to live on. Its tough but you do get there. I got my own home eventually and it really was worth all the upset in the long run it does make you stronger.
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Postby Loula » Sun Mar 27, 2011 6:51 pm

Well he left today! Says he doesnt know if its for good or not!I dont know how i feel about it either! Im upset and feel numb but im not as bothered as i thought unless its denial!

Anyway its just me and the little man! Does anyone know what i have to do about rent? We rent privately and because Jack is only 12 weeks tomorrow i dont work!

I opened another account like you all said just waiting for the paper work to come through have changed a few bills into my name too x
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Postby DawnyB » Sun Mar 27, 2011 7:12 pm

You should be able to claim for housing and council tax benefit - get in touch with your local authority asap. They may well need to see your lease, and if its in joint names, a letter from your ex stating that he has moved out.

I'd also say, use this time to make sure you know what you want - don't allow him to make all the decisions as to if or when he comes back - know what you want yourself.
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Postby devilisha » Mon Mar 28, 2011 7:17 pm

Oh Loula ((((((hugs))))))
You should have a chat with him and work out what you want, living in limbo is not good. :(

Saying that though, thats kinda what we are doing here at the moment.
Although I am still telling myself that we will be leaving in 5 weeks.

Not really sure what is going through OH head at the moment, the way he was talking this morning was as if he thinks we are sorting our problems out :shock: :? News to me, as nothing as changed. We are barely talking, not spending any time together, he is shopping for himself and cooking for himself too. We have talked about what stuff I will be taking with me, he is still doing the one thing that I want him to stop and is still working too much.
How is that sorting anything out ?????????????????

Im in a really weird mood now, I was ok this morning and now feel like I am back to square one :(
He's got me questioning myself and my plans now too :?

Caz :cry:
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Postby devilisha » Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:08 am

x
Last edited by devilisha on Wed Sep 26, 2012 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Hols » Tue Mar 29, 2011 11:22 am

Caz I am unsure exactly what's going on there but if you think there is any chance he isn't playing mind games with you and would carry out his threat you need to speak to someone urgently. He may need some medical attention (i.e sectioning) for both yours and Charlies safety as well as his own.
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Postby DawnyB » Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:19 pm

devilisha wrote:OMG Things are going from worse to extreme :cry: :cry: :cry:
Now im worried for Charlie's and My safety, as the OH has said he is going to kill himself.

God give me a little strength please, I really need it :cry:


get to your GP and get your worries logged with him, and then phone the housing department explain the situation and ask them for help.

If you are worried for your safety, is there a local womans aid? They may be able to advise you better and know what is available locally to help.

Be safe x
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Postby purplestar » Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:26 pm

Caz, I'm only along from you in Leytonstone, so if you ever need some support in rl, please give me a shout x
Diagnosed '93, Met since March '00 (2000mg/day), Spironolatone & Yasmin (when not ttc)

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Postby Trying » Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:45 pm

Caz, hun. I'm not far from you at all & vaguely know my way round Clacton, so if you need someone urgently please give me a shout.

Like the other's have said if it gets to crisis point your local area women's aid is Colchester based I think (my old job meant I had dealings with domestic violence charities etc..). There number is 01206 761276 - if you're worried store it in your phone, but under a woman's name etc.. x x
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Postby Loula » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:30 am

Caz hope your ok? And you managed to get something sorted! x
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Postby ruby_1985 » Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:21 am

Hi hun

Are you ok? My ex threatened to kill himself first time I left him but it was just mind games. I was told most people who are going to kill themselves just get on and do it and dont actually tell people. I dont know if this is true but I know its not a nice experience been told that by someone.

Are you able to move somewhere to stay? Ring your gp or 999 if he is going around saying that. Get the police to come. I know if your like me then you dont want to ring them but if you tel the operator your frightened for your own safety and that of your baby then they will send someone round. Hopefully they will deal with your ex too. A log will be made of the call and in the future if your ex takes you to court over seeing your baby you have a reference to say he isnt of a sane mind to have a child.

I hope your ok its a horrible time to be in.

Ruby xxx
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Postby devilisha » Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:04 pm

Thanks Ladies,

Im still here, still clinging on.

His Aunt spent the day with him and took him to the docs, he is now on strong anti depressants and the mental health team with be in contact with him.

This is not the first time he has "tried" to kill himself though.

My Mum is coming down tomorrow and I will be packing all my stuff up and putting it into storage until my flat is ready.
Charlie and I will be staying with my Dad. We will finally get out of here on Friday !!!!

Im not really sure how im keeping it togther to be honest, well sometimes im not :cry: :cry: :cry:
Charlie was supposed to of gone to nursery today, but was sick this morning and horrible nappies, so I didnt take him.
He has clung to me all day. He was then sick all over the kitchen at dinner time. Plus is has a really snotty nose and cold.
I feel so sorry for my lil man, this is not the life I expected for him. :cry:
Although I do know we will be better in the long run.

P is still being totally unreasonable and acting like its all my fault, luckyly we are not really talking and he is spending all time in his room.

Caz
xx
:cry:
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Postby ruby_1985 » Thu Mar 31, 2011 9:25 am

Hi hun

*hugs* Your doing really well its a hard time but things WILL get better. Men have a very good ability at making it out to be the womans fault when its not so just ignore him...I know its difficult.

Just 24 hours to go and things will feel alot less stressful when your not having to worry about your ex.

Poor charlie I hope he feels better soon. When he is older he wont remember whats happened. DD seems to have forgotten it used to be just me and her and she was 4 when we moved in with OH.

Remember your a good person who is putting your baby first. Your doing so well. Keep strong!

Lots of love xxx
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Postby Loula » Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:30 pm

Hun hang on in there not long to go (((((hugs)))))) hope your doing ok now?! And Charlie is feeling better!

Not much happening with me just trying to sort out all the benefits etc i really dont understand it all but i suppose i will get there! Ex says we will go through it all at the weekend (big of him :lol: ) x
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Postby Rache » Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:50 pm

How are things Loula and Devilisha? thinking of you both x
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