Postnatal Depression

A place for women with PCOS to talk about Motherhood & Pregnancy

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Postby Hols969 » Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:20 pm

Noah used to drive me mad when I would cook him things and he couldnt even be bothered to try it!! If eleanor wont eat food, let her starve (she wont I promise you). I soon learnt with Noah that part of it was attention seeking so if he wasnt hungry he wasnt (I think they like to play more than eat anyway).

Does it really matter if you get it wrong, Im not perfect and have got things wrong with Noah. I dont think Im a 'natural' and find my job far easier as I know exactly what Im on about and am in control. With Noah I dont have a clue and am not in control!!!! AT ALL .... but I just accept it now.

Girls and boys do things in different stages, boys are rushing in at doing stuff whereas the girls think a bit more. They pretty much all even out in the end. Would it truly matter if she was slower than others, it really doesnt make a difference, I dont think, in the long run.

Who are you comparing her to or what are you reading that is makign you worry, stop reading stop comparing, she is normal for her age and they all develop at different stages. It truly truly doesnt matter as long as she is happy and content (except at meal time!!!)
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Postby mrsnutts » Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:14 pm

I've been pretty low as Daisy is getting worse and crying when we try to get her to sleep. It's taking 2 hours per time to get her to stop crying long enough to go to sleep - her body's rigid, arched, and she's just inconsolable when you try to lay her flat. It's the same as when they diagnosed reflux, so I took her back to the doctors on Friday and he wouldn't do anything to help - I just wanted to burst into tears there and then, I wanted him to help us, not make us wait longer. It breaks my heart to see her in pain, and I ended up cuddling her in the dark, sobbing away. In the end last night we tried her in her car seat and she settled reasonably quickly. Tonight she's still a bit restless, and having a few spasms of pain, but it's not as bad as when she's been lying flat. But she's still been waking up crying every 15-20 mins since 7.30. I don't want her to sleep in her car seat every night so there's got to be a solution. The doctor thinks her reflux is under control, and it's bad wind that's causing the problem, and we're seeing him again on Monday morning.

It's so hard to ask for help, and even harder when you don't get it. The HV's supposed to be ringing us to give us a hand, but she hasn't yet. I feel totally exhausted, and can't see an end to it. Thinking about going back to the doctors makes me want to cry - maybe that's what I need to do to get him to do something. He's a really nice doctor, and I trust him to do what's best for Daisy, but I need some kind of magic medicine to cure all our problems.

DH's being made redundant in November so he's looking for a job, and money worries me loads, and I can't tell him that because he's stressed about it as it is. And the tumble dryer broke on Friday so we need to buy a new one. My Dad just called and left me a message while I was trying to settle Daisy (again), but I can't face calling him back because I'll just cry. DH's gone to tesco for food - hope he's back before Daisy wakes again.

Sorry this is a tale of woe, but here's the only place I can bare my soul. I hope tomorrow brings me some strength.
x
S
50 mg Clomid days 2-6, 1500mg Metformin per day for approx 1 year
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Postby Soooze » Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:19 am

Hi all!
Hugs to all of you having a crappy time at the moment...I'm afraid I'm gonna join ya! Daisy isn't sleeping well (I've posted elsewhere on this) and it has totally drained me! I thought I had really bad PMT last week, but no sign of my period so I'm stressing that it is a relapse of PND instead. I have been really anxious and teary and snapping at everyone in sight (including my boss - not clever!). We went camping this weekend which was utterly exhausting so I am now starting a new week completely zonked!
I reduced my AD dose a few weeks ago to every other day, and I think that is having a knock on effect, so I'm gonna give it another week and if I still feel shit I think I'll have to speak to the doc about upping my dose again. It's so frustrating!!!!
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Postby Hols969 » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:10 am

Remember Sooze that initially when you reduce your tablets it may feel worse so could just be that, or maybe now isnt the right time for you. I think lack of sleep makes anyone snappy so you sound normal to me.

wow mrsnutts you are having a tough time, especially with your OH being out of work. Not to mention Daisy being uncomfortable too, poor you. DO cry at the dr to make him see how terrible it is for you, it must be awful to see your baby in such discomfort, lean on your other half too as you all need support I think.

Hope today is better day for you all, remember its normally phases and the more tired you are the worse you feel about life in general, you cant seem to think straight and all you want to do is cry or go into a corner and not come out. This is tiredness and worry causing this.
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Postby mrsnutts » Mon Aug 24, 2009 12:34 pm

Thanks Holly - I felt more postive at the doctors this morning, and he's suggested giving her infracol to help with the wind, and keep on with the other medication for reflux. He said we were doing really well to get her to sleep without resorting to driving her round the block or walking her in the pushchair, and that it should get easier soon. It's hard to get her to swallow 2 doses of infracol before each feed, but hopefully it will be better for her.

Sooze - maybe taking 1/2 a tablet each day would be better than one every other day - that way you keep a constant dose, rather than go up and down. That was what I was advised last time I came off. But if it's not the time for you to come off them, then stay on them - there's no medals for struggling, and short tempers are painful for all the family, especially if you're not getting a good night's sleep.

My parents decided to come to see us today, and told my son, but then this morning changed their minds - he was gutted. They do this all the time to my brother's children, and they've stopped hoping really. I do hope they come tomorrow, otherwise I'll have to break the bad news to him again.

We went to a friend's 40th yesterday - sat in a beautiful garden in the sun, kids running around happily, nice food, great company, and it really chilled me out. When I'm down I want to shut myself away, but whenever I make the effort it's worth it. Hard to remember that though.

Hoping for more up days

x
S
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Postby Soooze » Mon Aug 24, 2009 5:46 pm

Hey!
Good idea about taking half tablets everyday, I think I'll try that if there's no improvement in the next few days.
Mrs N - glad your docs trip went better. Daisy had reflux & colic and it is really hard work in those early days so I really sympathise. It does improve with time tho and in the mean time, just do what you have to do to releive the pain for her. Have you tried baby massage? Daisy hated it, because she hated lying down for any length of time (obviously due to the relfux) but on the odd occaision that she tolerated it she farted like a trooper so it really helped with trapped wind!
How are you today Tracie & Kirsty? x
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Diagnosed PCOS 2001. Natural BFP Jun 07. Daisy born 24.2.08.
Ttc #2 since Jan 10. Shock bfp 2/4/11.
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Postby thebuzz » Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:05 pm

mrsnutts - it does sound like the reflux is causing Daisy pain when trying to get her to sleep, dont lie her flat, keep her head elevated at all times (even when changing her, bathing her etc), propping her mattress up with a towel or putting some books under the cot will help a great deal as gravity can keep the acid down and help with the pain.

Kirsty - just wanted to say that I am a childcare professional, i've lost count of the number of children i've looked after and nannyed for over the years and Sonny still doesnt listen to me! Today he had half a pack of crisps and a mouth full of potato for dinner. But so what? Its not everyday he eats like that and he's only testing his independence so please dont let Eleanor worry you to extremes. Its normal to worry but as Holly says please stop comparing her to other babies or books - she is Eleanor, no more, no less.
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Postby Soooze » Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:46 pm

Feeling much better today after a good night's sleep and the arrival of AF! So here's hoping that I start to feel better over the next few days.
Tracie - glad ur first day back at work went well - I found work a real tonic as long as it doesn't get too stressful!
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Diagnosed PCOS 2001. Natural BFP Jun 07. Daisy born 24.2.08.
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Postby Hols969 » Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:58 am

Hows this week going for you ladies?
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Postby mrsnutts » Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:23 pm

feeling deflated today - had to take my 4 year old to the dentist at the hospital to continue replacing a filling that his normal dentist had cocked up. When we went last, it had hurt him during and afterwards so he was stressed, and the dentist wasn't much help. He ended up sobbing this morning, and now we've got to go back again tomorrow so he can get gas and air befote they carry on. I was shaking with fury, as they wanted me to persuade him to let them carry on drilling when he said it hurt. Now my 8 week old keeps bellowing for no real reason, and I'm feeling got-at and snappy, but also feeling bag about short changing my son with quality, uninterrupted time before he starts school next week.

This morning she woke at 6, aagain at 7.20, and despite me only having been back in bed for 50mins, DH thought I'd be best going to her, so he could get a lie in cos he stayed up late playing games last night! I'm still p*ssed off, especially as he's going out tonight. He forgets how tired I am.

And Im fed up with getting drenched every time we go out!

x
S
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Postby Hols969 » Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:10 am

Goodness poor Billy, that has probably stressed you out no end so has made you feel deflated.

Kick your hubbies ars* ....... and remind him how tiring it all is for you.
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Postby Dottywot » Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:35 am

Hey Girls

Huge hugs all round!

I'm doing ok, still feeling better than I have in a while, and I seem to want to talk about what happened at the birth/other health problems to friends etc so that they have some understanding of what contributed to the PND, but the couple of people I have mentioned it to have both said, well its over now & u can move on, I don't want to dwell on it, but I find talking helps me keep things in prospective and I don't want to bottle my feelings up any more.

DH is on days off now for 4 days, but is off on a night out with his shift tonight, so tomorrow will be a right off for help, and then he is away at the Scotland game on Saturday, so another day of drinking! I don't really mind as he hardly asks to go out at all now, (not that I would ever stop him!) but everything always comes along at once.

My GP signed me fit for work, but my work needs Occ Health to sign me fit and my appointment isnt till next week!

Hope this rain goes away soon!

KJ x
Diagnosed - 2002
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Metformin - 23 October 2010
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Postby Hols969 » Thu Sep 03, 2009 12:40 pm

I think it does help to talk because it puts it all in place in your mind so keep talking to all that will listen if it helps. DH can still help tomorrow !! dont let him get away with it if you need help!!

The rain is sooo heavy at the mo too, puts a dampner on the best of people!!
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Postby mrsnutts » Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:40 am

Lots of stress here - DH's not coping very well with Daisy's crying, and he's worried he'll do something stupid to get her to stop crying. He get's so worked up, as though it's personal, but she's either in pain with colic or reflux, or desperate to get to sleep. Last night I suggested to him that he gets some help, he's so stressed at work, got to find a new job by November, money's not brilliant at the moment, with me and Daisy on top of that it's just too much. I asked him to come to the doctors when I take Daisy tomorrow for a colic review, so he can tell the doctor how her crying affects him, but I'm not sure he'll make it.

Although he can put both children to bed, he's much better if I'm here helping him. I went to get some food from Tesco on Saturday night - I was gone 1/2 hour, and he was in tears because Daisy had woken up again. I start teaching my aerobics classes next week, and he'll have to put them both to bed 2 nights a week while I'm out, and it scares me. I need him to be strong for me, not putting all the strain on me. I was supposed to be going to the cinema tonight with some friends but I don't think I can go and leave DH.

When my son was born, DH had a freak accident at 6 weeks, and broke his leg very badly, just as I was diagnosed with PND and put on ADs that made me worse - I had 3 months of looking after our son and DH, and this was too much strain, and I'm scared I'll have this load to bear as well. I think I know what I'll be talking to CMHN on Thursday.

My son starts school on Wednesday - what a milestone. He's such a comfort to me as he's a definite sign that even with PND I can raise a healthy and happy child - no damage.

Ah well, another Monday morning. Just found a huge lump on my cat's jaw - only 6 weeks since the other cat had an absess in virtually the same place after being bitten by the cat next door. Hope it's a bite, and not a tooth gone bad - cheaper anyway! Now I've got to get a baby and a 4 year old dressed and fed, and get a very grumpy cat into a box, and take them all to the vets - like a polar expedition. Better put some makeup on - don't think I can cope with people telling me I look tired, or asking 'bad night last night?'.

Sorry to be all 'woe is me', but posting on here helps me so much.

Hope things are good for everyone else

x
S
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Postby Hols969 » Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:19 pm

Wow Tracie, have a low period thats all. As for jobs, remember its a tough time and to be honest if you have a child and the other person doesnt, the other will ALWAYS get the job. Plot on and just keep looking, it certainly isnt because you are rubbish or anything so forget that.

If SJW isnt helping then go back to your GP and go on something a little stronger, we all need extra help sometimes so DONT feel ashamed or anything. Life is pretty stressful for you so just accept a little more help.

Mrsnutts, it sounds like your hubbie has PND, is he on anything, St Johns Wort or anything? Is he exercising to try and reduce the stress. You must go to your class as its important you do and you must trust that he can cope. He must LEARN to cope with it, we have to dont we and it is a struggle for us too. You need to sit down and find out why he feels he cant cope as thats what it sounds like. Can your mum or his mum come and sit with him for the first few times to try and get his confidence back.

A crying child is really really difficult to deal with sometimes, we all know, maybe you should remind him that we ALL feel like he does sometimes and it is NORMAL. Get him to cope with her as best he can, if it means bringing her downstairs for a little then do so.

You will be earning money too I presume so its important that you are earning if money is tight so its not an option that you stay at home.

Anyway moan away ladies its good to get it off your chest.

I just have money worries, ok mentally at the mo so feeling relatively level headed, but we all go thru ups and downs.
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