Postnatal Depression

A place for women with PCOS to talk about Motherhood & Pregnancy

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Postby Dottywot » Sat Aug 08, 2009 11:31 am

Morning Ladies

How are you all?

Gill - are you feeling any better?

Well I ventured out into our garden today & hung up the washing! Feel quite chuffed with myself & I went into town with DH the other day too :) Its lovely weather here so I'm going to take Catriona to the park this afternoon, there is a annual fun day so looking forward to it. DH is working today, so trying to keep busy until he comes home at tea time.

KJ x
Diagnosed - 2002
TTC for 5 years - BFP :) March 2008
Metformin - 23 October 2010
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Postby cherry219 » Sat Aug 08, 2009 11:57 am

Well done KJ, that's fab.

I made a list of things to do when I'm on my own, and put it on the fridge. I've found it really hard to think of things to do to keep busy (other than childcare of course!) so it's good having a list for when I'm down and can't think for myself. It's really helped, and I've got all my phone numbers on the back (helplines, doctors, HV etc) so if my brain starts to shut down I don't have to think too hard to get some help.

Hope you have a good day today.

xxxx
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Postby mrsnutts » Sat Aug 08, 2009 7:40 pm

when I'm having a good day, I gather stuff together to do with my son, so that they're already planned when I'm feeling a bit low. So I know we've got everything to (say) make cakes, or paint a box to put his books in etc.

My MIL's come to stay for the weekend, and she just told my DH that she had PND with one of her 3 boys. Don't know why she didn't tell me last time, when I could have done without feeling like a freak!

After emailing my friends admitting that I've got PND, I got loads of support, and I've sorted out people to see most days this week, including when DH's away at the weekend. Everyone's been so nice.

Great work KJ on going out - were you armed with a water pistol?

x
S
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Postby Dottywot » Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:37 am

I managed without a water pistol as I havent got one yet! Was considering taking my bottle of washing up liquid but I thought that was too cruel!

I went for a walk to the park where a fun day was being held, bumped into a friend of a friend, I find her so condescending, she is so nicey nicey that I don't know if its genuine! Paranoid, me? lol!

I also popped round to my friends house after I put Catriona to bed, it was my uni pals getting together for tea & chats. I had a lot of fun, another girl also has PND, and another suffers from panic attacks & anxiety so it was like a support group meeting, but with lots of laughing :)

Stayed in the house today, but I have invited my folks round for dinner :)

How is everyone else?
Diagnosed - 2002
TTC for 5 years - BFP :) March 2008
Metformin - 23 October 2010
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Postby Gill » Sun Aug 09, 2009 7:19 pm

I dont think Ive got PND but I do feel down alot and I find myself on this thread more and more often. I think its having two kids and no one around to help (when youre really use to it) Connors a pain in the rear and Isabelle is starting to get weary of him. He has such a temper at the moment and the smallest thing can set him off into a huge screaming session. Its really getting me down tbh. It doesnt help with Izzy winding him up. Shes so clever. She sorts things and removes the one thats the odd one out. I find myself really cleaning at the mo and I have a huge desire to redecorate (fancy me nesting AFTER the fact! lol) Cant tho as no money which is also getting me down. Also the fridge is dying to the milk is going off. I went into town on Friday and saturday and was fine, didnt bump into her again but I was relieved to see several security men and police people milling about which I never noticed before!
Big hugs all. xx
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Postby NobbyNobbs » Sun Aug 09, 2009 8:25 pm

KirstyJane wrote:I managed without a water pistol as I havent got one yet! Was considering taking my bottle of washing up liquid but I thought that was too cruel!

just popping in to say that diluted washing up liquid is a very effective and humane (we were advised by the RSPCA) way to deter a menace cat. they get the soap on them, then preen and dont like the taste, and so soon learn to say clear of your garden. we had trouble with a very agressive tom attacking our chickens and yowling all night, and after a couple of splashes he sayed away.
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Postby Dottywot » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:15 am

Gill - I really like it when DH is on his days off as he gets 4 days off in a row, I get used to having him around, and then he works 2 earlys, 2 lates & 2 nights, so he is around at different times & different days. Friends whose other halves work 9-5 Mon to Fri have it harder I think! We do find it harder to have a social life due to unsocial hours but we support each other & take turns with chores etc.

I've just requested to get a copy of my pregnancy & birth notes - I dont really know why I've done it though! I've had 2 birth reflection meetings already, 1 with midwife which was v helpful & then 1 with the consultant which left both DH & I in tears, he was so rude! We left without anything being resolved as I thought DH was going to punch the bloke & I was feeling so panicky & like the worst mum ever.

Hope u are all doing good.

KJ x
Diagnosed - 2002
TTC for 5 years - BFP :) March 2008
Metformin - 23 October 2010
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Postby Dottywot » Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:15 pm

((((((Tracie))))))))) huge hugs to you! A lot of my issues come from my perceived inabilities of getting pregnant, unable to give birth, I was induced at 38 weeks & ended up emergency c-section. Only managed to breastfeed for about 10 days, and gave up completely when I was re-admitted to hospital and I was too ill! I have so much guilt stemming from it, as it was another thing I couldn't do! As well as holding my baby, washing her etc, I was having to rely on strangers to look after her, while i was in the HDU.

Its defo the best thing to go back and see your GP. are you on AD's at the moment or were you only offered counselling? I think NCT groups should have a PND contact, maybe you could try to contact them.

K xx
Diagnosed - 2002
TTC for 5 years - BFP :) March 2008
Metformin - 23 October 2010
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Postby mrsnutts » Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:21 pm

The breast feeding lobby never seem to recognise that sometimes women can't BF, or choose not to. I was very surprised this time round to find a feeding advisor who didn't think that I should continue to BF - and helped me to switch to bottle feeding, but it seems to be the first question HV, midwives and doctors ask.

I got my ADs upped today as a trial for 2 weeks to see if they help with my short temper, and the doctor was very supportive and said that it was her job to stop PND affecting my family life. My son asked me yesterday to not shout at him, so we promised each other that he'd do what I ask straight away so I can hug and kiss him, and in return I won't snap or shout. We made it through today ok, so taking it a day at a time.

I do need to have something other than Daisy etc to occupy me - from mid september I'll be teaching my aerobics classes again, so I'll get a couple of hours break from motherhood. Can't wait. I could do with the exercise as well, and the natural high that comes with it. And the way it cleans my brain, as I can't teach a good class when my brain's buzzing with other stuff.

I've been trying to read as well, rather than sitting on the computer (Verity excepted). Books are always a good escape.

Hope everyone's ok,

x
S
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Postby Hols969 » Thu Aug 13, 2009 9:30 am

Does it really matter that you couldnt give birth naturally or couldnt get pregnant naturally or whether you bl**dy bf, it truely doesnt matter. You got your baby what ever way you could. Who cares if you cant bf, people are anal about it, its one of my bug bears actually that mw and hv go on about it. I did bf for 11 months but mainly out of guilt because I felt terrible even thinking about stopping even though I didnt like it!!

There was a time years ago when bf was a no no so god knows why do they go on about it ...

Anyway ladies you are all doing great so far so just keep what you are doing as it is obviously working.

Remember Tracie, that when you are tired, whether you other half does anything irritating or not it will irritate you (just how he looks at you!!) I remember it so well!!
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Postby Soooze » Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:26 pm

((((hugs)))) to Tracie
I totally get where you are coming from (having been induced / had an emergency c-section / couldn't b-feed) and it takes a long time to work through your feelings. I can now just about look at a bf mother or poster or whatever without feeling completely panicky.....but it's taken a long time.....
I really agree about going back to the docs to see what other options there are. I haven't had a chance to read back through the whole thread so you already may have mentioned this...but I can't recommend CBT enough to help "mend" the wonky way of thinking that comes hand in hand with PND.
Oh, and if I do have another baby I am really looking forward to telling mw and hv to go stuff themselves when they suggest I try to bf.....I aint going through that trauma again!!!!

Hi to everyone else too!!!
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2d2e24
Diagnosed PCOS 2001. Natural BFP Jun 07. Daisy born 24.2.08.
Ttc #2 since Jan 10. Shock bfp 2/4/11.
Max James Robinson born 9th December 2011 8lb 10.5oz :D
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Postby crazy_kittyuk » Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:04 pm

just wanted to agree with you Snooze about the BF , i too shall be saying that to the midwives when they try and force it upon me to BF. (if i ever have another LO)
All i did was cry , i didnt want to be a mum , i actually felt like i wanted to get rid of my child .

Ive never even seen a DR since ive had my LO, but i do have very down days, esp when i dont see anyone. Some days i just want to sleep all the time and not bother leaving the house.

Kirstyjane- ive never asked for birth notes, i would dread hearing what they said about me. i actually walked out the hospital 6hours after my LO was born, which only my parents knew about until i just wrote it now. Makes me feel like a really bad mother now that i did that.

Having a very bad week this week, all my so called friends dont get in touch anymore, does having a baby make you diseased?? sometimes thats how it feels.
anyways im babbling, and the wine bottle is empty! :lol:
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Postby Mrs Wilko » Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:33 am

Morning all,

I'm not sure I know where to start really - as I'm not sure whether I'm worrying unnecessarily and blowing things out of proportion or in denial. I don't really trust anyone enough to mention how I've been feeling off and on for a while as I've always been the strong one in other people's opinions and tend to put on a bit of a front when I'm with friends and colleagues as I don't want them to think I'm not able to cope with stuff or judge me.

Basically, I'm wondering whether how I am being is typical 'being a mum' feelings or whether it's PND. As Eleanor's got older I've found it more difficult, I now worry whether she's developing correctly and what she's eating is OK. She still prefers pre-prepared baby jars and toddler food to my own, (i'd love her to eat what we have regularly) and although she says the odd word, she doesn't seem to be doing what others tend to be doing. The HV said she was absolutely fine and not to worry, but I still do, wondering if everything I do as a mum is right for Eleanor.

She does test my patience more and more now she's able to do things I wouldn't want her doing (like climbing on the sofas - I'm worried she'll fall off and hurt herself) but she seems to like doing it as she just laughs when I tell her why she shouldn't be doing it... I take it this is normal, toddlers disobeying their parents, but I often wonder why I am unable to stop her doing things....

I have days like today where I want to open up and say how I am feeling, but come tomorrow I'll feel stupid for mentioning it as I convince myself it's just normal. I do feel overwhelmed by the amount that's been going on (we've just had workmen in for 3 weeks) so house hasn't been my own and been messy and dirty which I can't stand, so maybe once things get back to normal I'll feel OK.

DH is lovely and supportive, he always makes me feel better but the time together is just drifting away with everything we have to do, but although I'm worried it's PND he thinks it's not and just hormones and he says he understands and just puts up with me.

Sorry about the long post - just had to get some of it out....(even if there is so much more I could mention about how I feel!) am I being neurotic or just have normal concerns? Many thanks xxx
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Postby Hols969 » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:31 pm

How many days do you work Kirsty?

I learnt early on not to compare Noah to any other baby and its what i always tell other mums, Eleanor sounds totally normal to me. She is a little lazy with food thats all but it is a phase.

Thing is we should be able to cope thats why we put on the front but to be honest it should really be our only job but most of do two jobs as we need money too.

It may be PND but to me it sounds like you have a LOT on at the moment, especially with workmen at home.

How many parents can control their children easily, not many. You may not do everything right for Eleanor but I dont think I do everything right for Noah but does it really matter as long as they are relatively settled in things and doesnt cause any danger.

I decided long ago that I would let noah eat with his fingers and do stuff and only really get at him for really important stuff, does it matter if they climb on the sofa, they soon learn if they fall off that it can hurt.

Dont put so much pressure on yourself, you dont have a degree in childcare like most of us with children and you just have to try your best which you are. We have had an extension going on for 8 months and by god was it depressing because the dirt was unbelieveable but really it didnt matter a bit of dirt didnt kill anyone and I actually learn to accept it (still hated it).

Come on what else is bothering you and I bet me and the other ladies can put you right on those too and show you are just a normal mum who love and worry about their children!!
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Postby Mrs Wilko » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:56 pm

Many thanks for your reply Holly, it's nice to have an honest reply - I do worry that I make a big deal out of things that I shouldn't do, but then again I am a bit of a worrier regardless... Whatever I do with her I worry it's not right.. I get feedback all the time and have a wonderful reputation as doing things right, but I'm kind of stabbing in the dark with motherhood, sometimes I just don't feel like I'm cut out for it, but I guess that's normal. I like to know I'm good at what I'm doing and I just don't get it with the motherhood 'job'

I only work 2 days a week and feel normal there because I know i can do that job properly without much worry at all. With Eleanor, I just don't know if I am doing right by her with anything these days. Some days I worry about her feeding, others development, there's always something...

Things are really starting to get on top of me at the moment, every little thing just setting me off, I spent 5 minutes at lunchtime crying in the kitchen as I didn't know what Eleanor wanted (she was whinging when I was feeding her and everything i passed her she just chucked on the floor) really stupid really, but so frustrating for both of us.

I guess I'm a little down with everything at the mo and it'll pass, it just seems to frequent that I'm miserable nowadays... I'm sorry to crash the thread ladies, I just want to understand why I'm feeling like I am...I just don't like admitting it.
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Back again to loose the weight after a break (and a baby!) 01/2013

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