by Platinum » Thu Apr 05, 2012 10:40 am
Stephhaff, great to hear from you! Haven’t we come a long way? It sounds like you’ve had a really tough time of it, especially with Caitlin struggling to fight a nasty infection so early on. We didn’t have the experience of transfer between different hospitals, as Elizabeth just transferred to lower intensity rooms within the same unit, but it must have been incredibly hard for you to have Caitlin back in intensive care, especially with Alexander doing that much better at the other hospital, and then coming home.
Are yours breast or bottle-fed? One of the unexpected benefits of spending time in special care is often that the babies come home already in a good routine – Elizabeth was on a four-hour routine and was used to settling herself. She was almost exclusively bottle fed by the time she came home though, due to my rubbish milk supply.
I guess it must be so much tougher with two. What are their weights now?
It’s easy to say it but so hard to do – but try not to compare. Our NCT group was one complete disaster zone so we weren’t unusual within our group – out of seven couples three were premature (28, 29 and 32 weeks), five caesareans (four emergency) and five babies in special/intensive care at birth. So in that way we were perhaps ‘lucky’ that we had a support system of a few others in similar situations. But looking back over the past 16 months, different babies in the group had different problems and met milestones at very different times, so I bet if you look back in a few months you will not feel your two are so different after all.
Definitely don’t even think about their actual dates of birth, but only of their corrected age. Even then, don’t be surprised if they are a little slower than ‘average’ – remember that they all progress at different times, and particularly with Caitlin’s IUGR there is every excuse for her taking her time. It is hard, but focus on how proud you are of each of their achievements as individuals, and don’t let any nosy clueless people wind you up.
In terms of Caitlin’s likely size as an adult, I don’t know much about the effects of IUGR (Elizabeth didn’t have this), but I do wonder whether Elizabeth won’t be as tall as she might have been due to her prematurity – we are both tall but she definitely isn’t, at this stage. I know of a little girl born prematurely who is about 3 years old now and is very small, but she is absolutely fine in every other way. I agree with Michelle about not holding out for everything being ‘normal’ at exactly 2 years. The only reason the experts focus on 2 years, is that by then all little ones are so different anyway, that it is by then much less relevant which ones were prem, unless there are still known problems by then. I certainly know Elizabeth is no more than average in her development, by corrected age, and certainly in no hurry – eg not walking at 16.5 months (14m corrected) – but I’m not worried, because I see that she is learning and developing day by day, and she is the cautious type, a real little girl!
As for justifying size and lack of progress, it is only very very recently that I’ve started to feel I no longer need to do this. I was a great one for jumping right in there with the birth story! It’s ok – whatever you feel, or whatever you want to share, is just fine.
Things will get easier, even if it doesn’t seem so at the moment. I remember that just when you get the hang of milk feeding, you start weaning and it all gets tricky again! Meanwhile, feel free to vent or share on here – the twin mummies are amazing, and everyone has been really supportive throughout my journey, and if you ever do get time to read back, it’s astonishing to read some of the things that happened to mums and babies at the start of their journeys, and yet how well they’re doing now.
Remember that you’re doing an amazing job!
Michelle, nice to hear from you – do you still note their due date as well as their actual birthdays? Elizabeth still has two birthdays in my mind! What are your two up to now?
Platinum x
TTC#1 since Dec 06
Heterozygous for MTHFR; weak +ve for Lupus and IgG antibodies
IVF#2 (4th ET): 2 blastocysts, BFP 1/6/10! OHSS
Clexane 80mg, Aspirin 75mg, B12 3x50mcg, Metformin 4x500mg
Gestational diabetes
Elizabeth born prematurely by emergency C-section on 25/11/10 at 29+3, due to placental abruption, weighing 3lbs
