Shiningstar - I went through the same at first. I cried because I felt so helpless and just wanted to scoop my babies up and take them home. I came close to fainting one day too when the docs were telling us about the hole in Emilie's heart - they had to rush to get me a chair and a drink of water. Are you going in twice a day? Sounds like Harris is coming on great! He's been really quick at coming off his antibiotics! I hope it gets easier for you... I know it's not nice
Hols - I know what you mean about hating people asking how you are. I'm fine when I'm concentrating on the twins and their progress, but the minute someone asks how I am I crumble.
The twins seem to be coming on well. Arran doing much better - he's off his cpap hopefully for good now - he was off on monday and when I had him out for skin to skin cuddles he put his whole thumb in his mouth and gave it a good suck - midwife suggested putting him to my breast and he took it first time! The most amazing feeling of my life! I thought that was it and went home on a complete high, but on Tuesday morning he had to go back on cpap as he was getting tired. I cried my heart out on the way home - DH had to stop the car and give me a cuddle because I was so bad

such an emotional rollercoaster!
Emilie on the other hand has never been off cpap since she was born... we actually haven't seen her face yet because of the tubes and mask

I try not to dwel on that too much because it really upsets me, but her pressure is being decreased a little every day and hopefully she can be cycled on and off soon. Her lung infection really set her back a couple of weeks ago, or it might have happened sooner. She still has the duct in her heart that isn't closing - but if she can get off cpap and breath for herself then it won't be an issue, otherwise she'll need to be transferred to a different hospital for surgery... we're praying it won't come to that - I don't think I could handle it!
sorry - didn't mean to write a novel
Michelle
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