The routine and sleep thread

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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Yvette75 » Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:33 pm

I have 3 to juggle in the morning as DH leaves for work just before 7am when I get them all up. I bring Jessica downstairs and she sits in her bouncy chair whilst I make breakfast for the other 2. I then give her her bottle whilst they eat breakfast. Next bottle is 10am, next around 1pm, next at 4pm. She then goes to be at 5.30pm :shock: and sleeps. I bring her downstairs for a bottle then bum change at 10pm then she goes straight back to sleep when we go to bed around 10.30pm.

If I try to give her the last bottle at 7pm she is very grouchy as overtired although she will then sleep through until 7am, but I can't deal with screaming overtired baby whilst getting my older 2 ready for bed.

Mine have always settled into a 3hrly routine of their own making and have all slept through from an early age - 10 weeks Christopher and Emily, 6 weeks Jessica. I guess they need a certain amount of milk in a 24 hour period, so they either take it during the day or in the night as well.

Yvette
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Lenny » Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:25 pm

Mrs Wilko wrote:Evening,

Hoping this thread is still active enough for some advice!!

Eleanor slept through from very early and she feel into a routine of her own accord (as far as I remember anyway - I never had issues like I'm having now, put it that way!) and I feel I should know the answer to what I'm about to ask, but I'm going to anyway as Connie's 3 months now and I'd love some sleep at the right time of day!!!

Connie's a fab sleeper, she's very easy in the fact that she doesn't (yet) need hours of shushing or rocking or anything like that to go to sleep, if she's tired she goes down, overnight feeds are quick etc etc. but we're really not in a routine like we were with Eleanor. Connie is 15 weeks old tomorrow and we still have no set routine. She is generally on a 4hr routine feeding during the day, but the timings are never the same as sometimes she will go up to 6hrs without feeding which will sometimes be from putting her down or from the early morning feed. She has done 8hrs but that's from putting her down early evening. She still wakes overnight, but sleeps so well during the day too she's obviously not bothered about missing feeds! I obviously don't want to over feed her or make her sick, I'd just like some idea about what's going to happen! She currently just feeds when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired....

Also - how do I fit her feeding routine in with the routine I have with Eleanor - especially now she's at school? An 8am, 12pm, 4pm etc routine works at night as I'd be putting Connie down after I've finished with Eleanor but we'd struggle with the 8am feed with taking Eleanor to school, a 7am, 11am, 3pm etc wouldn't work so well because of the school pick up and the 7pm feed would be at the same time as putting Eleanor to bed... A 6am, 10am etc routine would probably be best for us even though Connie feeds, stays awake a bit (she'd be extremely grumpy whilst putting E to bed) then sleeps but how do I even start to enforce that routine???!! I feel as though I should know the answer, but it's so unpredictable the overnight waking that she wouldn't be ready for a 6am feed (either because she's had one somewhere between 3 and 5am.... (if she's had a feed at 11pmish, if not it'll be earlier)

Any words of advice???!

K xx


Not sure if I will be of any help here but wanted to say that despite doing more or less the same things with my 2 boys, they were totally different in terms of routine...or lack of... I wasn't wanting to enforce a strict routine and intended to feed both of them on demand. In spite of this my eldest put himself into a 3-4 hour routine by about 6 weeks old and was generally very predictable with feeds, naps etc. Youngest was a far more laid-back baby but was a completely routine-free zone! He fed when he was hungry, slept when he was tired....I had a small age gap & the eldest wasn't in childcare so there was no pressure to get out of the house on time for school runs etc, so I have to say I didn't do a routine at all, DH reminded me after 11 months that I really should do something about my child as I would be going back to work in a few weeks (we did manage to cobble together a bit of routine at the last minute)

I would agree with SilverLining about just trying to get things together to get out of the house for dropoff & pickup, and in between times there is probably less need to have a formal routine.
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby sicily » Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:49 am

Help, our sleep here seems to be deteriorating! c is 6 weeks old today and we'sre nowhere near that magic 6 week settling into a routine.

After the first few days of jaundice and extreme sleepiness, C stayed very sleepy until about 3 or 4 weeks but still feeding on demand about every 2.5-3 hrs except for one night where she had two 4 hr bursts after a cluster feed. She used to sleep anywhere day or night, in cot or Moses or on people but since about 3-4 weeks has not settled in her bedside cot and has steadily wanted to be closer and closer to us in the bed, which we don't mind if we get more sleep and understand little ones need closeness and hugs. But in the last week or so she's started getting very gripey day amd night, crying for no apparent reason and virtually all that will send her to sleep (usually quite quickly, thnkfully) is carrying in the sling and white noise. This has got worse too, in that she now not only wants to sleep in the bed but wants to cling to us as if she was in the sling, ie be on my chest or cradled in crook of my arm. Put her down and she cries within 5 minutes. Needless to say she won't stand for the buggy either and cries even if you wheel her in it for a good while. So I carry her everywhere and pretty much all day which is hurting my back. Due to DH's work I am pretty much in charge all night and then not getting much napping during the day either and she won't even be held by her grandparents when they come. It's me or daddy!

Don't understand why my newborn has changed so much and seems to be deteriorating and getting more dingy rather than into more of a pattern and independence? Is there a 6 week growth spurt? She's having her bcg this week so am worried she will be even worse after that. I've started expressing to try and introduce a bottle feed of EBM at her 10/11 feed so that I can go to bed at about 9 and get a few solid hours of sleep.

I'm dead against leaving her to cry at all so perhaps this is what i have to accept, but I feel like I'm giving her everything she needs in terms of the '4th trimester' where I know she needs closeness yet still she cries? She does have gorgeous 'wakeful happy' phases a few times a day where she kicks about on the playmat, smiles and is just lovely. I'm guessing she then gets tired and needs to sleep but can't settle herself so cries. However she s also doing this at night from 1am-7am last night where she sleeps very lightly and wakes at the most minor shift or trying to untangle her from my boob/arms.

Any advice? Does it get better? X
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Sun Feb 24, 2013 12:26 pm

It all sounds completely normal to me. And having had 2 who were completely different i can assure you that what works for one child doesnt always work for another so it might just be a case of seeing what works for you.
6wk is still really young, and tho i had a relatively workable routine for teaghan at that age, with caoimhe i had to wait a bit longer, so dont be surprised if its the case with you. Night time feeding is a good thing too, as it is at night time when you have more prolactin which will help with your milk. There is also a growth spurt at about 6 wks old too so that will ffect sleeping patterns.
I'm pretty much of the mindset that if baby wants to sleep close to you then let them, dont stress about it. You can try little stratergies to get her to settle without being next to you, i used to lie on the bed at the side of the cot and hold tig's hand til she went to sleep. As for controlled crying, i know little about it as i knew it wasnt for me,but i would think shes probably a bit young yet? But ultimately you're unlikely to set bad habits now with whatever you do. I broke lots of 'rules' with mine, picking up when they cried, bringing Tig downstairs if she didnt settle, co-sleeping etc and at 18 mths old i can count on one hand how many unsettled nights we've had with tig over the last 4-5 mths... She goes to bed awake at 7 and usually doesnt muff til 7am when she will sing to her toys r talk to her sister. So it does get better!
Daytime sleeps, especially with tig have always been a problem and i used to get really stressed about it. I know crrying a baby around all day isnt ideal, but sometimes you just have to do it. Some days you will not get off that sofa for hrs, you wont be able to get dressed or wash the pots til shes in bed. Its motherhood, and nothing to feel bad about. I used to feel terribly guilty if i was still in my jams when my hubby got home from work but not anymore. Things get done when they get done. Even now at 4 and 18mths there are days when i am glad of bedtime so i can actually et something done! And i tend to tear around doing jobs while they are eating their meal !
Also as long as she is safe, in her cot or ram or where ever you can walk away and let her cry. She wont come to any harm. I used to put tig in her pram in the front room, close the door and sit in the kitchen for 5min with her crying away.(and me too sometimes!) and she was perfectly fine. You will learn to read her cues and anticipate when she will need a sleep. It took longer for tig than caoimhe but eventually you do find ways to help them get to sleep in the day. Caoimhe had to be cuddled, i would get a blanket and her dummy, and sit with her til she fell asleep. This didnt work with tig at all. So she goes in her pram with. The telly on low and she will sleep eventually (tho not always) or i will ave to take her for a walk!
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby anne » Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:21 pm

Hi Sicily,
Just wanted to let you know that the 6 week mark is apparently the peak of fussiness so it might get easier soon. I hope so! SorryI don't have any words of wisdom but you are not alone!
Anne
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby sicily » Mon Feb 25, 2013 7:21 pm

Thank you for reassurance and sympathy... She's now back to her sleepy and cheerful ways and was a dream last night so I think she was having a grizzly few days of developmental leaping. I've bought the Wonder Weeks book so I know what's going in that little head of hers! Also trying to see what, if any, activities help her like nights when we bath her, days when she has a good outdoor walk or other social activity to see if that coincides with better nights.
She's still snuggled on me but I love it, bit at least now we can sleep with her at my side in the bed rather than clinging onto me like a little limpet! I swear she'd have crawled back into my womb if she could have done in the last few days.
Xx
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Fitch » Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:39 pm

Hi

I have a 4 month old son after 6 yrs of trying!! He is very good at sleeping at night, always have been (bar the odd blip!!) since 4 weeks old he has only woken once at night and I'm breast feeding!! My question is he seems to be going to bed earlier and earlier (6pm tonight)as he really doesn't sleep well in the day (3 or 4 cap naps of 30-40mins) but now he seems to be always waking at 5am wide awake and no chance of going back to sleep!! Is there anyway I can get him to sleep longer or is 6pm - 5am good enough?? I dont want to expect too much from him but 5 am starts mean its a L
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Fitch » Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:43 pm

Pressed send to quickly!!! :-) 5 am means its a LONG DAY for both of us!! It turns into a vicious circle of getting up early bed early!!! Is there anything I can do or should I just ride it out until he needs less sleep in the day so will go to bed more like 7ish??
Thanks
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Thu Mar 28, 2013 9:51 am

My two girls have always had about 11 hrs at night and only occasionally will they go longer. Luckily its 7-6!
I had similar problems with my sevond, she hated sleeping in the day and still does to some extent. The only thing that worked for me was a routine, and sticking to it. Find out what works for you and be consistent.
Both girls were different. Caoimhe had to be cuddled til she fell asleep, with Tig i put her in her pram, put music on and leave the room. Every child needs different amounts of sleep its just a case of working out what works.
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby sal123 » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:13 pm

I'm wondering when I will be able to begin a routine with my nearly 7 weeks old. At the moment everything seems on his schedule. We get up every morning at 7:30 but he fights sleep during the day. It's impossible to get him to sleep unless on my chest. nighttime I take him upstairs at 8 o'clock for feed and try to get into his basket at 9 o'clock. He then sleeps for two hours at a time. any tips for longer night sleeps or encouraging daytime naps. I'm exclusively breastfeeding so maybe I need to encourage him to eat more.....
TTC since 2008
August 2011 - miscarriage at 6 weeks
1st Clomid 100mg - Oct 11 BFN
2nd Clomid 100mg - Nov 11 - Ovu
December - BFP
7 week scan all normal
9 week scan - MMC no heartbeat had ERPC
3rd Clomid 100mg - May Ovu BFN
4th Clomid 100mg - June
July -bfp due 9 march x
2march - gorgeous baby boy arrived 6.1
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Wed May 29, 2013 8:54 pm

Sal i know this is a little late, and i really thought i had responded to your post! At least i can blame baby brain lol
Just wondered howmyou are getting on?
Just wantedmtomreassureyoumthat we are in the same place, and caelan is 10 wk old. He has perhaps 2 spells in 24 hrs when he will go 4 hrs between feeds - in the morning and in the evening, otherwise he is 2 hrly almost to the minute. Sometimes he'll be hrly too. This includes nightitme. We are pretty much o sleeping and he is grazing 2 hrly overnight. Every baby is different and some will go,longer between feeds but unless its really stressing youmout just gomwith the flow and feedmhim when he wants it. He will settle down eventually. I have to keep telling myself,that too lol.
Never too early to start abroutine imo, but it has to fit in with your family lofe. We have been attempting a bedtime routine for the last few weeks. Not doing so well lol he ends up back down with us til i go,tombed but at least we're making a start!
As for daytime naps, well when you hit the solution let me know. Caelan is turning out like Tig.mhe'll sleep in hisram or in the car seat and occasionally stay asleep after a feed but its very ad hoc. Afraid to,say it took me a while to get tig in a napping routine during the day.
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby sal123 » Mon Jun 10, 2013 9:48 am

Thanks - we had a major breakthrough one night. Suddenly started sleeping for 5 hours !!
He now sleeps from 8.30 to 3am then about 4-6am.
What a relief.

Daytime naps are still on me but I'm not too worried as he sleeps now at night. He does prefer the cat naps though but he wakes up reenergise so guess they work.
TTC since 2008
August 2011 - miscarriage at 6 weeks
1st Clomid 100mg - Oct 11 BFN
2nd Clomid 100mg - Nov 11 - Ovu
December - BFP
7 week scan all normal
9 week scan - MMC no heartbeat had ERPC
3rd Clomid 100mg - May Ovu BFN
4th Clomid 100mg - June
July -bfp due 9 march x
2march - gorgeous baby boy arrived 6.1
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Mon Jun 10, 2013 7:15 pm

Thats great news Sal. My eldest only slept on one of us (unless in the car or in the pram) until she was about a yr old, we were able to put her down when she was asleep tho after a while so hopefully you'll be able to do that.
We have hit a breakthrough as well, it must be their age :) Caelan is now doing about 8pm (was 730 tonight) til about 11 then a quick feed and straight back to sleep til about 3-4. Even managed to stay awake to put him back in his basket a few times. His day time naps are still ad hoc tho mich like Tig and im not fussing abput them :)
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BFP 07/12
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby sal123 » Tue Jun 11, 2013 5:30 pm

Great that you had a breakthrough too! It did feel like it would never happen :-)
It makes such a difference getting some sleep.
Let's hope it continues
X
TTC since 2008
August 2011 - miscarriage at 6 weeks
1st Clomid 100mg - Oct 11 BFN
2nd Clomid 100mg - Nov 11 - Ovu
December - BFP
7 week scan all normal
9 week scan - MMC no heartbeat had ERPC
3rd Clomid 100mg - May Ovu BFN
4th Clomid 100mg - June
July -bfp due 9 march x
2march - gorgeous baby boy arrived 6.1
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