The routine and sleep thread

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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Debbs » Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:34 pm

Thats what Archie does Yvette. He makes weird panicky noises until one of us comes for him. lol. He also turns 90 degress sometimes up to the top of the cot. Were so lucky he goes back to sleep straight away though. Thanks hun
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:24 pm

Another one from me :)
Teaghan has always been awful at sleeping (well sonce she was a few weeks old ) and now she is awful! We have meltdowns whenever we try and get her to sleep. Normally she is fine at bedtime as she is tired and goes to sleep a few minutes after a bf (doesn't last tho!) but we almost always end up co sleeping and she usually has at least one more bf pvernight, more often 2.
Wondering is there a seperation anxiety issue at her age? (nearly 11 mths) could it be because I'm back at work now? Or is she just a bad sleeper? Any tips on what i can do to help her? She doesn't have a dummy, or a comforter (not interested) isn't attached to any particular toy, can't do controlled crying because she gets herself into a right royal state and it takes even longer to calm down, and anyway i'm not convinced it would work for me as i would be in a worse state! She's still in our room atm as she will be sharing with Caoimhe and i really don't want her to be disturbing her. Caoimhe is a great sleeper usually but she does get upset if she is woken up. I'm happy to ride it out if it will get better at some point! Never had this with Caoimhe so i'm in the dark really!
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby hope07 » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:00 pm

Hi Kasha- Does Teaghan use the breast to fall asleep- could it be a boob sleep association.
How does she nap in the day? Will she settle without a bf? Could you try offering cooled boiled water during the night-
Joel had a major boob/ sleep association when younger, I tackled it by trying to help him self settle in the day [ much easier than at night] then at night [dont laugh] I set up camp on an airbed in his room. Instead of picking him up, I'd sing, talk etc until him dropped off- I also put him the Gina Ford routine which worked really well for us.
I would also try being consistent every night, once ypu decide on a plan of action stick with it-
Sorry for rambling on xx
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:43 pm

Hope she's not good at sleeping in the day either. It's almost as if she resents sleeping in case she misses something! But she doesn't have boob at all in the day, except for a feed in the afternoon, which she hasn't had for 5 days now. She usually goes to sleep in the day just with cuddles, or in the car/pram. Sometimes she would fall asleep on boob in the afternoon but only if she was shattered when she had it and usually not.
I was talking to the hv about the night time thing yesterday. I know its comfort mostof the time, although she will have a good feed, not just a 'quick drink' but a full 5 mins non stop somerimes. And when she's finished sometimes she realy does just snuggle in further or turn over and go to sleep! So i think part of it it is that she likes to sleep with me. I really don't mind the co sleeping. 2 of my sil did it with their youngests too and it all worked out fine. But she seems to be quite mummy obsessed really, and its the meltdowns that are getting me down a bit, not to mention the clinging which is definitely getting worse. I think thats tied up with the night time thing too tbh as she wont let tim settle her of she knows im around!
I'm not fond of the books tbh, tho must admit when she was small i used to do the putting down for a nap after 90 mins and it did work to some extent.
I'm not laughing about the campbed as i've actually got in her cot with her a few times! Tonight i ended up lying cuddling her in her cot and then stripped my pj top off and left in with her! When she was really small (up to about 4 mths) she would settle in her basket, with me holding or stroking her hand. But that didnt last and i cant do it now, especially as she is mobile enough to try and get to me!
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Steph Pet! » Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:21 am

Awe Helen what a nightmare pet....from reading what you've written she's definitely got a sleep association going on which IMHO the sooner you crack the easier it will be. Separation anxiety kicks in too from 9-12 months so quite possibly some of that too....

I always followed the Baby Whisperer routine and advice for my two but as you're not a fan of the books I'm not sure what to suggest pet....with Arch we did controlled crying but that didn't work with Harry so we did the pick up put down method. He was really bad to settle too due to his reflux as we couldn't put him down until 20 mins after a feed so he'd fall asleep on me...took me a long time to crack his sleeps and it was painful but I put this down to us taking 6 months to get his reflux under control.

I suppose you've tried the obvious thing of putting her to sleep on one of your t-shirts and some rolled up towels next to her so she feels like you're there???
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:02 am

Haven't tried the tshirt (might give that a go) but i made her a taggie out of my old clothes and wore it in my bra, tucked into my pjs etc for about 48 hrs. Its lying at the bottom of the cot and she's not interested in it! But she's very much like her sister in that she has certain toys she prefers but isn't particularly attached to anything.
I have tried pick up put down and so far hasn't worked. The problem is she gets so wound up very quickly almost as if she is panicking that you're not there, and it takes ages to settle her, i left her last night for not even 5 mins and ended up giving her boob just to calm her down as she was completely inconsolable.(she didn't fall asleep) Obviously i have a highly strung child lol.
We've been avoiding putting her in caoimhe's room as i don't want two unsettled kids! altho to be honest when caoimhe has fallen asleep in our bed she rarely wakes. Wondering if we should just bite the bullet and move her in and see if we can establish another bedtime routine for them both. I think her routine has been messed up because I am not always there to put her to bed now and pbviously when I'm not she doesn't get boob. We went out for tea last night too and got home at bedtime (wednesday is always a killer as Caoimhe is at footytotz til 5 but last night we did something else) and she's had a lot of messed up teatimes recently with one thing and another. So perhaps i should make a Fresh start?
Its all abit strange as We didnt really treat caoimhe any differently at bedtime i let her fall asleep on boob etc and we never really had much of a problem, even when we started putting her down awake. Just shows how didfferent they can be!
Thanks for the advice tho steph!
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Steph Pet! » Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:28 pm

I've done the same thing with my two pet but they're so different....bloody annoying isn't it lol....fc you find something that works for u. My friends boys had to end up sleeping in the same room as the youngest wouldn't sleep without someone else there....it worked great for her and u won't know til u try pet!
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:58 pm

At the end of my tether girls. Sitting here listening to both girls melting down on the monitor. Don't know what to do. Teaghan is an absolute nightmare at the moment (well lets be honest she always has been) but she just will not go to sleep onnher own.
I will end up going up there there in a minute and getting in her cot witth her or bringing her down cos she will get to the point where she wont calm down.
Any ideas at all? Toys, lullabies, tshirts, controlled crying, sleeping in the same room as caoimhe....nothing works. I'm on my own tonight and i think i'm really going to explode in a minute.
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Steph Pet! » Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:33 pm

Oh bless ya hun.....my friend had real issues getting her little boy to sleep on his own. She cracked it in the end but it wasn't easy....he wouldn't sleep unless she was sitting patting his back. She had to gradually draw away over weeks/days so firstly she was patting him, then his mattress, then her hand was still, then she sat in the chair, then sat at the door, then outside of it and finally she could leave him. Have you tried anything like this??
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:04 pm

Thanks Steph. Yea i've tried patting her, sometimes it works or at least it used to but hasn't dome just recently. Unfortunately i cant even leave her to cry it out (like i did sometimes with caoimhe) because she gets in such a state it's almost impossible to calm her down. I managed to get her to sleep finally by lying in her cotsinging to her!
She used to be prety easy to get down in the evening but now that she is sleeping through more often she is getting harder to get to sleep.
I womdered if maybe i need to drop one of her naps. She usually has 2 sleeps in the day, round about 9 for about an hr and then about 1-2 for usually hour and half. When caoimhe was the same age she was down to one nap in the early afternoon. But she does still seem to need both.
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Steph Pet! » Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:20 pm

Aaaaahhh yes that might be it pet...I know when H became hard to settle at night dropping his worked...I did it gradually so he's have a morning sleep one day but not the next. Got nowt to lose trying it pet....
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby anne » Tue Jul 24, 2012 7:06 am

Hi Kasha,
May be it could be the daytime sleep thing like you say. May be she's not tired enough with probably having a better night's sleep and her 2 naps. I think the 2nd nap might be too late. What bedtime are you going for? To get an earlier 2nd nap may be you need to drop or cut the morning one. Does she go to sleep by herself for naps?
Hope things settle soon.
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Kasha » Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:07 am

Hi Anne.
She has a sleep in the afternoon about 2ish usually tho sometimes later and i actually woke her at 330 yesterday.
She sometimes goes to sleep on her own, not always, sometimes she needs rocking. She now goes in her pram at naptime and has for a while as it was the only way i didnt have tomfight with her to nap! She will even climb in her pram herself now!
I've slowly got her bedtime to 645 not long ago she was pulling her hair out if she wasnt having boob by 630 and would be fast asleep by 640. I like them to be asleep by 730, and to be fair Caoimhe doesnt have a nap at all now and needs to be in bed by that .time.
I'm going to try and distract her til dinnertime and then let her have a sleep either before or after that and see if that helps.
Think we might have a tooth as well which probably isnt helping!
Thanks for the advice ladies x
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby Mrs Wilko » Thu Jan 17, 2013 8:18 pm

Evening,

Hoping this thread is still active enough for some advice!!

Eleanor slept through from very early and she feel into a routine of her own accord (as far as I remember anyway - I never had issues like I'm having now, put it that way!) and I feel I should know the answer to what I'm about to ask, but I'm going to anyway as Connie's 3 months now and I'd love some sleep at the right time of day!!!

Connie's a fab sleeper, she's very easy in the fact that she doesn't (yet) need hours of shushing or rocking or anything like that to go to sleep, if she's tired she goes down, overnight feeds are quick etc etc. but we're really not in a routine like we were with Eleanor. Connie is 15 weeks old tomorrow and we still have no set routine. She is generally on a 4hr routine feeding during the day, but the timings are never the same as sometimes she will go up to 6hrs without feeding which will sometimes be from putting her down or from the early morning feed. She has done 8hrs but that's from putting her down early evening. She still wakes overnight, but sleeps so well during the day too she's obviously not bothered about missing feeds! I obviously don't want to over feed her or make her sick, I'd just like some idea about what's going to happen! She currently just feeds when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired....

Also - how do I fit her feeding routine in with the routine I have with Eleanor - especially now she's at school? An 8am, 12pm, 4pm etc routine works at night as I'd be putting Connie down after I've finished with Eleanor but we'd struggle with the 8am feed with taking Eleanor to school, a 7am, 11am, 3pm etc wouldn't work so well because of the school pick up and the 7pm feed would be at the same time as putting Eleanor to bed... A 6am, 10am etc routine would probably be best for us even though Connie feeds, stays awake a bit (she'd be extremely grumpy whilst putting E to bed) then sleeps but how do I even start to enforce that routine???!! I feel as though I should know the answer, but it's so unpredictable the overnight waking that she wouldn't be ready for a 6am feed (either because she's had one somewhere between 3 and 5am.... (if she's had a feed at 11pmish, if not it'll be earlier)

Any words of advice???!

K xx
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Re: The routine and sleep thread

Postby SilverLining » Thu Jan 17, 2013 10:01 pm

Hi Kirsty. I just wanted to let you know the sort of routine (if you can call it that) I have with Luna especially with the school runs etc.
A typical school day consists of:
DH waking me at 06:30. Depending on how bad a night I had the night before and if both babies are still sleeping he will then let me sleep until 7. I go straight into the shower, wash hair and sort myself while he wakes Shiloh and brings her breakfast up. She will sit on our bed and watch tv while I get dressed. Normally Luna wakes at this point and is now cooing and squealing. DH will change her bum then at 07:30 he has left for work. Once I'm ready, Shiloh has finished her cereal then I help her to get dressed (she gets washed and does her teeth herself with a lot of prompting). It's now approaching 8ish. We go downstairs and I will feed Luna then do Shiloh's hair and we all get ready to leave the house for nursery at 08:30. To be honest, I very rarely get Luna dressed, I will leave her sleep suit on and just put snowsuit/coat over. We get home at 09:00 and that's when we have no more routine until its time to leave to collect Shiloh at 11:30. Sometimes Luna will sleep until 11 when I wake her for a feed (have been caught out twice before with her waking while collecting S and L howled!!!) We are back home for midday and again routine varies on L. If she is awake she will want feeding, if sleeping I can sort S lunch otherwise she will wait until L is done. S always wants a hot lunch so I am unable to prepare something earlier. What happens during the day really depends on L again. Sometimes she will sleep, other times she wants nothing but boob or recently to play. We have no routine again until 6pm when I get them bathed and ready for bed. Sometimes DH isn't home until 9pm so I never rely on him helping. Once 7pm arrives, L is grumpy and S is in bed. But sometimes it all go wrong and S is still awake at half past. I take L downstairs and she will feed until 9ish. She will either sleep in my arms or on the sofa until I go up at 10. I then put her in her crib and go to sleep myself. But that all depends on her! Sometimes she wakes and wants feeding again or just to play. Or she could sleep until 12am-ish or 2ish or 4ish or 5ish. But she will always wake at least once. Sometimes, I stay awake and put her back in her crib once fed but mostly she will co-sleep with me and feed at her leisure. Some nights she just won't settle and I am absolutely drained and exhausted but I just carry on until the weekend.

We hardly make plans for the weekend as DH always works 7 days (unless he is really ill) so me and the babies just have a lie in. I normally wake at 7 still and the babies from 8-9. I enjoy that hour of me time. We will then just do what we want as and when in our own time.

In between all of that above I try to do my housework, washing, and paperwork for work. Sometimes I have my whole house done by midday, other days I still haven't finished downstairs by 4pm. I try to not worry about it as I know I have the next day to do it (I'm still a bit of a cleaning freak tho and get fidgety!)
The only thing that I try to get right is the school run. I say to myself it doesn't really matter much about L and a routine as I know it won't last long her being a baby and she will get into her own routine. I have found the last week or so that she will feed more each time so she is having less feeds during the day but she still decides when to want one.

Sorry, for the long essay and I don't think I have been much help but just wanted to let you know that we don't have a routine and just go with the flow. I am hoping once she is on to BLW fully and starts to drop feeds then a routine will come into place but until then all I am concerned about it getting Shiloh to school on time.

Hopefully someone else can give you better advice x

PS. Shiloh had a perfect text book routine from the age of 6 - 8 weeks. She slept through from then and had feeds at regular same times.
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