Can I afford to delay TTC?

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Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Amy87 » Thu Jul 30, 2015 6:42 pm

Hi everyone,

I'm 28 years old and have PCOS. I'm lucky not to struggle with a lot of the associated PCOS problems at the moment, My PCOS was confirmed by an ultrasound scan after I came off the pill and had irregular periods, random spotting and pain between cycles. I have a BMI of 21 so I'm not overweight and the skin problems are treated well with the pill.

My partner and I recently got married and the baby question has inevitably started to come up from family and friends. The thing is, I don't know how I feel about having children. I've so far just 'put it on the shelf' as something to think about 'later' because I have time on my side. However, given that I have PCOS (and also coeliac disease which can cause fertility issues) I'm starting to think that maybe it's something I need to think about rather than burying my head in the sand.

Does anyone know if it's possible to get your fertility tested before you start trying to conceive? Obviously I'm on technically the back foot to start with but I keep hearing that it doesn't really make a difference to your fertility unless you're struggling with the worst of the associated side effects, which I'm luckily not at the moment. If I knew conceiving was going to be really hard, then I'd start sooner! However, if my chances are the same as anyone else's, maybe I can afford another few years of life as it is now. It's probably just a luxury nobody ever gets, but I thought it was worth asking in case anyone has experience of trying to see how the land lies before jumping in! :) x
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby sicily » Thu Jul 30, 2015 8:16 pm

I don't think you'll get tests on the NHS as you need to have been ttc for a set time (argue for less if you know you have PCOS) but I'm sure you can pay to have a private consultation and tests and advice.
Don't feel pressured to have a baby, do it when you feel is right for you, but also you don't want to have any regrets because one day it might feel like a baby is the one and only thing you could ever possibly want and time will stretch like an eternity before you... Then again, you might be lucky and conceive the first go - plenty of people with PCOS do.
We started ttc when I was 30 and I wish we'd started sooner, although we would not have been in the right place financially and career wise (but then, it's never quite the right time is it?). We now have our amazing dd but along the last 5 years we have suffered immensely with just about every fertility treatment leading up to 3 cycles of IVF, never any frozen embryos, two chemical pregnancies and two mc at 9-11 weeks. Both the mc were the result of BDing rather than IVF. It's taken a huge toll on us and were not sure we are going to actively try for another one now.
As for external symptoms, I have none at all, GPs look at me and tell me I can't possibly have PCOS - but my ovaries are totally messed up! They respond erratically to every drug thrown at them, I had to be taken off clomid, FSH made me go all over the place and IVF cycles have been mega slow for me because they are terrified of giving me ohss. I think my egg quality is actually poor because of the responses we've had and very few good embryos. We're about to be tested for recurrent miscarriage and our last mc is being karyotyped to see what the matter was with it.
Also I am on metformin which has helped me regulate cycles, and after stopping bf my LO I actually got periods which I never really had before. I was on metformin for my successful IVF and my most recent pregnancy. X
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Amy87 » Thu Jul 30, 2015 9:36 pm

Thank you for your response, it's really helpful to hear about someone else's experiences. It sounds like you have been through a really traumatic time since your first, it must be so hard. Thank you for sharing, I totally agree with that advice! I hope things work out for the best, take care of yourself x
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Joanne81 » Fri Jul 31, 2015 6:24 am

Hi Amy,

I agree, don't feel pressurized into having a baby, you just need to bare it in mind that it may take longer than you anticipate. I was referred before ttc for a year because I went in and said I wasn't ovulating and had irregular cycles. Are your cycles normal? You could always chart your bbt or do ovulation tests, that will give you an idea of what is happening.

Sadly you can't bank on it not affecting your fertility because of a lack of symptoms. My friend has it and needed ivf but diagnosis took 3 years because she has no symptoms and regular cycles.
TTC #1 since May '12, diagnosed Aug '12 after a lifetime of irregular cycles and lack of ovulation. Referred for treatment Jan '13. 7 rounds of clomid and DD Molly born at 36 weeks 30/07/2014

TTC #2 Sept 2016...BFP Dec 2016. EDD 31/8/17.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5a8ed0
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Amy87 » Fri Jul 31, 2015 7:47 am

Thank you :)

When I'm off the pill my cycles are regular, but I have less of them than 'normal' women. So instead of having a period every 4 weeks I'll have one every 6 or 7- so I'll be ovulating nearly half as much as you're supposed to in a year, which I guess immediately slims down my opportunities!

It's really interesting to hear about your friend's experience- my doctor gave me the impression that unless you're having symptoms it's probably not going to make a difference. I wasn't sure about his opinion (to be honest he was quite rude about PCOS altogether!) so I saw a female doctor. Her opinion was: if you want them, you better get cracking. Haha I appreciated the honesty :) x
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Joanne81 » Fri Jul 31, 2015 10:53 am

Are you on the pill now Amy? You could see what was happening with ovulation tests (but they don't always work for us, or do your bbt each day). That will tell you if you are ovulating. Sadly just because you have a period it doesn't mean you are ovulating!! Seems silly I know. I have been charting since I had my daughter to gage how long to leave it before trying for number 2. My cycles are irregular again and some months I'm ovulating, some I'm not.

If you aren't on the pill you could always ask to be referred for tests such as a hsg to check your tubes and your OH sperm check. But after that they would likely to move onto fertility treatment. That would probably take at least 6 months dependent on area. But if you don't feel ready you could come off the pill (or whatever you are using) and use condoms for now. But then if you decide you want a family in a year etc, you can tell them you have been free from birth control for longer as they won't know about the condoms.
TTC #1 since May '12, diagnosed Aug '12 after a lifetime of irregular cycles and lack of ovulation. Referred for treatment Jan '13. 7 rounds of clomid and DD Molly born at 36 weeks 30/07/2014

TTC #2 Sept 2016...BFP Dec 2016. EDD 31/8/17.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/5a8ed0
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby sicily » Fri Jul 31, 2015 1:15 pm

A word about gps - many of them are totally uninformed about PCOS so just ignore them if you feel they're fobbing you off and be persistent until you get the answers/referral you need! Xx
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Amy87 » Sat Aug 01, 2015 1:52 am

I feel so dumb now- I had no idea you could be having periods but not be ovulating! I'm definitely learning things haha. I am on the pill at the moment, so I'd need to come off it to judge how the land lies, so to speak! My OH could get checked in the meantime though, just to see how the other side of the equation is doing :)

Good point about GP's, the advice varies I wildly from doctor to doctor I sometimes wonder if I might be better asking random strangers in the street haha xx
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Vicki140208 » Thu Aug 06, 2015 1:55 pm

I'm new to realising I have PCOS and unsure how long I have had it so my advice probably won't help but is more just my experience with TTC. I got married to my DD's Dad in May 2007 and fell pregnant by June 2007. I had always had irregular cycles and hadn't been using any contraception for 3 years previously but we were careful and were only actively trying the month before I fell pregnant - probably lucky and I probably just OV'd that particular cycle (on a 49 day cycle).
I'm now 30 with a new partner and we've been TTC since April but I just found out I have PCOS. I'm similar to you, barely have any symptoms I get the odd spot, have slightly oily skin but my BMI is 22 and I've never had weight issues. I'm not overly hairy, I don't have any pains at any point during my cycle. I have been prescribed clomid by my GP because I have been having blood tests and things for more than 12 months but still waiting for AF to arrive (day 86 currently).
I would personally have a long think about whether you're ready for a baby, but maybe rather than feeling pressured to try sooner you could possibly come off the pill and let your body get rid of the pill for several months because it can take a while for that to happen. I feel like the pill masked my PCOS for many years and in hindsight I wouldn't have gone on it after I had my first born.
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby hkittypink » Fri Aug 07, 2015 6:53 am

I would echo what Vicki has said. I delay and delayed coming off the pill because of work, moving house, the recession blah blah blah and really regret not doing it sooner.

You can still be careful outside of ovulation periods, but it would mean you getting to get a referral earlier through your GP if and when you're ready to have a baby as you can say you've been trying since coming off the pill.

Good luck xx
Nov 12 - Dec 15 - natural and Clomid 100mg cycles all BFN
Dec15 - IVF conf'd start Jan 2016
Feb-Mar16 - Long protocol ICSI, egg collection scheduled 22nd March
It worked! EDD 09/12/16 with a little boy
Image
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Amy87 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 1:25 pm

Thank you! I agree - the pill masked my PCOS and it was only when I came off for a bit that I realised I had it. Thing is I prefer being on the pill to off it! My skin is better and my weight distribution is nicer. But then I guess that's just vanity and it's not the real me, so I just should get used to who I am off the pill! D'oh. Why is nothing ever straightforward :roll: :P xx
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Vicki140208 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:53 am

My skin was worse for a while earlier this year but when I came off the pill it actually sorted itself out. I was prescribed creams instead from the doctor to help which did work. I personally would steer clear of the pill if there's even an inkling of thought in your mind about having a baby xx
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Hols969 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 9:53 am

The one and only advantage of pcos is our egg quality remains better for longer so you can conceive later than non-pcos ladies. I conceived age 36 so in my view you have plenty of time so do it when you feel ready, rather than worrying about the ticking clock.
Unless stated, my views do not represent the official views, position or standing of Verity
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Re: Can I afford to delay TTC?

Postby Amy87 » Sat Aug 08, 2015 2:50 pm

Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your thoughts and insight on such a tricky topic :) xxx
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