Trying again after a second trimester loss

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Trying again after a second trimester loss

Postby looey82 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:02 pm

Hi girls,
I wanted to start a new thread for others to join me in trying again after a second trimester loss. I lost my baby girl in April at 19 weeks after I suffered pPROM. I am worried that I may have IC as I had quite a few symptoms.
Some of you have probably read my fairly desperate posts recently and I would really like any of you to join me here so we can support each other through what is bound to be a very stressful and worrying time.
I have just finished my first cycle on clomid since my loss, which has ended in a BFN and am waiting for the results from the recurrent mc clinic tests. The hospital totally messed up by telling me I needed to rereferred for treatment after my loss and then failed to send out my appointment letter so I missed the appointment I'd be desperately waiting for. I then found out that I was being treated as a new patient and that I hadn't even needed to be rereferred and so ended up wasting 4 months of waiting for nothing.
I had to complain again in August as they were going to make me wait till December for treatment so was very glad to finally be back on treatment in October. I think this has probably added enormously to my frustration as I was just so desperate to get pregnant again.
Anyway 7 months later, here I am.
TTC Mar 08
Clomid#1 May 09-BFP- MMC at 9+2wks
Natural BFP- Dec 09! Lost baby girl at 18+5 wks due to pPROM
12 clomid cycles & 2 x FSH injections with IUI- BFNs
IVF#1- 25 eggs, 8 fertilised, 1 back + 4 frosties!
IVF BFP- Clexane & prog injections, low dose steroids & aspirin
Aug 12- DS born at 27+5wks after 10 weeks of problems
TTC#2 Nov 13
Mar 14- FET 1 embryo transfered- BFP- early MC
IVF DD born at 34+4wks Apr 2015
looey82
 
Posts: 943
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:29 pm
Location: West Yorkshire

Postby Izzie » Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:50 pm

Hi,

Some of you have probably read my posts about my loss this year. My husband and I had had been trying for 4 years when we conceived last year - got our BFP on Boxing Day and was the best Christmas present ever. Had an early scan which confirmed a strong heartbeat. 12 wk scan was fine and heard the heartbeat at 16 wks. 2 days before my 20 wk I had awful stomach cramps and bleeding. A scan at the hospital confirmed our little one had died. Things then quickly took their natural course without the need for any intervention and I delivered a little boy the next day - it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

We are still non the wiser as to why our baby boy died. After several complaints about no follow up and having to refer the matter to PALS, we are having a meeting this week, 8 months after the event! When I went to the first appointment at the fertility clinic after our loss, despite assurances that my maternity notes would be married up with my fertility notes, the consultant didn't even know about the pregnancy let alone the miscarriage.

I have just turned 38 and have a 10 year old from a previous relationship. Because of my age and that I already have a child, we do not qualify for NHS help beyond clomid. I have not responded to clomid so we are now embarking on private treatment and I am having OD in December.

We have now been trying for 5 yrs and have watched all our friends complete their families within that time. Can't wait for this cr*ppy year to be over and get our much wanted BFP in 2011.

x
TTC since Nov 05
BFP 26/12/09 - late m/c at 20 wks
BFP 17/11/10 - EDD 22/7/11 - It's a boy!

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Postby Mojito » Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:35 am

Just wanted to add my support here.

My loss was a third trimester, my little girl died at 32+2 she was conceived after our first IVF cycle.

Seven months after Layla's death we had our second IVF cycle which resulted in our Son who is a year old this week. We are planning to have our third IVF cycle at some point next year. All three cycles will have been self funded and at £6k a pop, its bloody expensive.

Trying again after losing a baby is so very hard. I know for me, personally, I wanted so much to be pregnant again and wearing maternity clothes and in "baby mode" but at the same time I was terrified of the same thing happening again. I was looked after by a specialist feto medicine unit when I was pregnant with my Son and had bi-weekly Consultant appointments and scans and was induced at 37 weeks. I could also go in on demand and have a CTG to check the baby's heartbeat and movements when I was anxious, this made a big difference and really helped me to get through it.

Good luck to you both
Laura xx
IVF#1 - Jan 08 - BFP - DD born sleeping at 32+2 - forever in our hearts
IVF#2 - March 09 - BFP - DS born November 2009
IVF#3 - April 2011 - BFP - Early Miscarriage
IMSI - October 2011 - BFP twin girls born June 2012
Mojito
 
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Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:54 pm

Postby beaglelady » Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:33 pm

I just wanted to say to you ladies don't give up I think you are amazing after what you have been through. It's hard enough losing a much wanted pregnancy early on.
had the lot pcos endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroids. now in early surgical menopause.
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Postby looey82 » Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:41 pm

Thanks Beaglelady and Mojito. I really hope your next IVF is a success!

Izzie- I delivered my baby in a different hospital to where my fertility clinic is and I knew it would be unlikely that they'd bother to send them over. I rang the clinic and they promised they'd ring the hospital and request them. (I gave them all the details) They rang back and said that it was all sorted.
6 weeks later when I went to an appointment with the consultant, with a chance to discuss what had happened, he didn't have any notes at all so couldn't answer my questions. :x
Do you have a date for your OD yet? Lots of people seem to respond very well to that- hopefully you will do too.
Did you need fertility treatment to concieve your son? Where abouts in the country are you?
Sorry lots of questions- just nice to get to know you a little!!!!
TTC Mar 08
Clomid#1 May 09-BFP- MMC at 9+2wks
Natural BFP- Dec 09! Lost baby girl at 18+5 wks due to pPROM
12 clomid cycles & 2 x FSH injections with IUI- BFNs
IVF#1- 25 eggs, 8 fertilised, 1 back + 4 frosties!
IVF BFP- Clexane & prog injections, low dose steroids & aspirin
Aug 12- DS born at 27+5wks after 10 weeks of problems
TTC#2 Nov 13
Mar 14- FET 1 embryo transfered- BFP- early MC
IVF DD born at 34+4wks Apr 2015
looey82
 
Posts: 943
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:29 pm
Location: West Yorkshire

Postby Izzie » Wed Nov 10, 2010 8:22 pm

Evening,

Mojito and Beaglelady - many thanks for your words of support.

Looey - I live in Berkshire. I am having OD in mid December - feeling a little anxious as I haven't had a general anaesthetic before so don't know how I will respond. However, I am also very positive in that we are trying something different which just might do the trick. I am hoping that it will be enough to give my ovaries the kick up the backside they need - the plan is to have 3 cycles of clomid with cycle tracking afterwards. If this does not work, we move to IVF.

Ironically, my son was a complete surprise and wasn't planned. As I have never really had a normal cycle, perhaps 2 or 3 a year when not taking contraceptives, I didn't even know I was pregnant until 22 weeks. I know it sounds madness but I had no symptoms of pregnancy at all. I was also on the pill I didn't have a bump, only a thickened waist which I put down to my diet and lack of exercise. All a bit of a shock but a happy one. I spent years preventing a pregnancy and conceived anyway and have now spent years desperately trying to conceive with no success!

We have got our follow-up on Friday - I will let you know how it goes.

xx
TTC since Nov 05
BFP 26/12/09 - late m/c at 20 wks
BFP 17/11/10 - EDD 22/7/11 - It's a boy!

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Izzie
 
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Postby looey82 » Wed Nov 10, 2010 11:18 pm

Thanks Izzie, will be waiting to hear what they say- hope it's not too upsetting for you.
22 weeks!!! :shock: Bloody hell- that's all I can say to that!!! :D :D
TTC Mar 08
Clomid#1 May 09-BFP- MMC at 9+2wks
Natural BFP- Dec 09! Lost baby girl at 18+5 wks due to pPROM
12 clomid cycles & 2 x FSH injections with IUI- BFNs
IVF#1- 25 eggs, 8 fertilised, 1 back + 4 frosties!
IVF BFP- Clexane & prog injections, low dose steroids & aspirin
Aug 12- DS born at 27+5wks after 10 weeks of problems
TTC#2 Nov 13
Mar 14- FET 1 embryo transfered- BFP- early MC
IVF DD born at 34+4wks Apr 2015
looey82
 
Posts: 943
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:29 pm
Location: West Yorkshire

Postby Izzie » Fri Nov 12, 2010 3:16 pm

Well, I attended my follow up appointment and surprise, surprise my maternity notes nor the post mortem report had been sent to the clinic from the hospital. However, every effort was made to sort it out and the notes were sent over via taxi - the efficiencies of the NHS! Anyway after 1.5 hrs waiting, we had the meeting which was ok and was able to take away a copy of the post mortem. I was tearful but I coped with it much better than I had anticipated.

There are no clinical findings that explain why our son died. He had developed normally with everything where it should be. No evidence of infection or placenta abruption. No genetic defects etc. Therefore we fall into the category of unexplained second trimester miscarriage. The consultant said that this was a positive thing in as much as we are at no greater risk than anyone else of this occuring again. He also reassured me that in any future pregnancy I would be able to attend the EPAU for reassurance (scan/hear the heartbeat etc) should I be anxious about the baby at any time.

I am relieved that the meeting is now over with and we can at least have some degree of closure and concentrate on our TTC journey. Feeling strangely optimistic today about the next few months :D.

Looey - hope you doing ok.

Izzie x
TTC since Nov 05
BFP 26/12/09 - late m/c at 20 wks
BFP 17/11/10 - EDD 22/7/11 - It's a boy!

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Izzie
 
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Postby looey82 » Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:58 am

Hi Izzie,
What a disater with the notes- I'm glad they pulled their fingers out and got it sorted for you.
It's hard to know how to react to being told they could find no reason, isn't it. On the one hand, it's good there's nothing that is likely to reoccur, but on the otherhand, it would really help to understand what went wrong. I'm glad you feel relieved that the meeting is over and done with and that it helps to try look forward.
I wouldn't be surprised if you have a little wobble when it's all sunk in and you've had a while to think through what was said- I did.
It's reassuring to know that you can have extra scans and monitoring next time. I have been told the same, although they are going to do some extra scans to monitor my cervix as well. We just have to get pregnant first though, huh?!!!! If only it was that easy!
Thanks for letting me know how it went and sending a big hug your way.
Love Looey xxxx
TTC Mar 08
Clomid#1 May 09-BFP- MMC at 9+2wks
Natural BFP- Dec 09! Lost baby girl at 18+5 wks due to pPROM
12 clomid cycles & 2 x FSH injections with IUI- BFNs
IVF#1- 25 eggs, 8 fertilised, 1 back + 4 frosties!
IVF BFP- Clexane & prog injections, low dose steroids & aspirin
Aug 12- DS born at 27+5wks after 10 weeks of problems
TTC#2 Nov 13
Mar 14- FET 1 embryo transfered- BFP- early MC
IVF DD born at 34+4wks Apr 2015
looey82
 
Posts: 943
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:29 pm
Location: West Yorkshire

Postby Mojito » Sat Nov 13, 2010 9:16 am

Izzie
My daughter's death was unexplained, all of the PM results came back clear, as did the genetic testing we had and all of my bloods, placenta etc etc were all fine. It's very difficult to understand and accept. I know in those early days we were desperate to know why and to some extent we are still today. On the positive, with a unexplained death it is highly unlikely for it to happen again, my feto medicine consultant said she had never seen it happen twice (a unexplained stillbirth) in her 15 years of practising which did comfort me a little.

I had a lot of counselling after my daughter died and I remember my therapist and I talking about the not knowing and needing answers. We eventually came to the conclusion that had Layla died from let's say a hole in her heart for example, I would always be wondering why she had, had this problem to begin with. Basically what I am trying to say is that I don't think the wondering and what if's ever go away even if you know the cause of the problem.

I'm glad they offered you extra reassurance and monitoring in your next pregnancy, its so important to help you get through it.

xx
IVF#1 - Jan 08 - BFP - DD born sleeping at 32+2 - forever in our hearts
IVF#2 - March 09 - BFP - DS born November 2009
IVF#3 - April 2011 - BFP - Early Miscarriage
IMSI - October 2011 - BFP twin girls born June 2012
Mojito
 
Posts: 303
Joined: Sun Jul 04, 2010 7:54 pm

Postby still a mum » Sat Nov 13, 2010 5:58 pm

hello everyone, so sorry to read all of your storys, its such a hard thing to go through and really doesnt help that we also have fertility issue's.

heres abit about me : im 28 my dp 31, we have been together for 13yrs. I fell pg naturally in sept 2004. our lil girl was born at 24wks gestation and was moved to jessops wing at the royal hallamshire hospital in sheffield. she caught a hospital infection just after she was born but fought it off and after having numerous tests which said she was healthy and ready to go back to our local hospital she caught the infection again but this time it led to septisemia and she passed away aged exacly 1 month old.

after her death we had trouble conceiving so went for tests where i was diognosed with pcos. doc's abit confussed what 2 do with me as i am actually underweight so they tried metformin, clomid, ovarian drilling all with no success. in jan 2009 i had 1st ivf... conceived twins, miscarried at 8wks pg. feb 2010 2nd ivf, miscarried at 4wks pregnant. just started down reg for FET this time they r treating me as if i have immune issues so will also be on steroids and clexane injections throughout treatment and pregnancy. fingers crossed this time as its my last NHS try! only have 2 frozen Embroyo's . having treatment at homerton hospital in london. FET due around 13th dec all being well x

now run a charity in our daughters memory and supply hospitals with antibacterial handles and cubicle curtains that kill off mrsa etc on conatct. The debonair trust find us on facebook or our website www.thedebonairtrust.org.uk x

hope u all get bfp's soon, its such a long and draining journey x
DD angel Emon died aged 1 mth old.miss u x
ivf#1 feb 09 BFP! MC twins @ 8wks
IVF#2 mar 10 BFP! MC @4wks
thawing embryo's 22.12.10 x failed FET:(
in memory of Emon x
still a mum
 
Posts: 412
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Location: LONDON

Postby still a mum » Sat Nov 13, 2010 6:01 pm

mojito completely agree with what u r saying, as u know from above post my dd died from hospital infection but we always think what if they realised sooner, what if she was moved to her local hospital sooner what if they had antibacterial equipment in place, but nothing can bring her back. as for us we find it comforting supplying hospitals as hopefully it will save another persons life at some point so my dd didnt die in vain iykwim?
DD angel Emon died aged 1 mth old.miss u x
ivf#1 feb 09 BFP! MC twins @ 8wks
IVF#2 mar 10 BFP! MC @4wks
thawing embryo's 22.12.10 x failed FET:(
in memory of Emon x
still a mum
 
Posts: 412
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2006 9:26 pm
Location: LONDON

Postby Izzie » Mon Nov 15, 2010 6:07 pm

Evening all,

Looey - I have had several wobbles in the last few months. I have found the book 'When a Baby Dies: The Experience of Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death' a real life saver. I am not one to open up much to others but reading people's accounts in their own words and their experiences of grief made me feel much less isolated.

Mojito - like you say I think there will always be what ifs regardless of whether you have a clear reason for the death or not. I cling on to the fact that no explanation is a positive thing in that we are at no greater risk of it happening again. The comments from your consultant regarding her experience is very encouraging. I think your husband and you must be incredibly strong - a loss at 20 weeks was devastating, I have no idea how I would have coped in your situation. I am so pleased that your further treatment was successful and you now have a son.

Still a Mum - I greatly admire you, particularly your work with the charity in memory of your daughter. I wish you every success for your treatment starting next month - I hope you get that sticky BFP.

xx
TTC since Nov 05
BFP 26/12/09 - late m/c at 20 wks
BFP 17/11/10 - EDD 22/7/11 - It's a boy!

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Izzie
 
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Postby Teresa » Mon Nov 15, 2010 9:55 pm

Hi everyone

I think it was a good idea to start a thread for us. It will be nice to chat to people who are in a similar situation though of course I wish none of us were.

I will tell you a bit about me. I'm 27 and have been married for 4 1/2 years. I was TTC for over a year and waiting for an appointment at the fertility clinic when I fell pregnant naturally with my first baby, Amelia, in 2008. I was so happy and loved being pregnant, watching my baby grow, feeling her kick and getting ready for her arrival. It was the happiest time of my life.

At my 20 week scan, the nurse noticed that the amniotic fluid was really low. I had pPROM (prolonged premature rupture of membranes). The consultant said as I had a little fluid, there was still a chance my baby could make it as long as I didn't go into labour too early and her lungs developed ok with the little fluid she had. We had regular monitoring and clawed our way through each day to get closer and closer to the viable 24 week mark. She was doing really well, growing well, moving nicely, swallowing fluid (which helps lungs and digestive system develop) and the little fluid we had was staying in there. We were really hopeful and confident when we passed the 24 week mark. Then at 25 weeks, in November 2008, I had a huge bleed and rushed to hospital. They scanned me and told me the devestating news that my angel's heart had stopped beating.

I didn't want them to do a PM but they looked at my pregnancy notes and examined the placenta and did blood tests on me. The consultant concluded that I have a blood clotting disorder that I never knew about, he thinks I had a blood clot in the placenta which caused my waters to break early at around 20 weeks and then a placental abruption at 25 weeks. Even though I am pretty sure of the cause, I still have the "what if"s like others have said too. I read that it's meant to be a way of trying to feel that you could have had some control.

The consultant said there's a small chance it could happen again but next time I can take a low dose of aspirin to thin my blood which will reduce the risk and have extra scans for reassurance. At the moment i'm just concentrating on trying to get pregnant in the first place. I have promised myself I will try not to get too anxious next time and just enjoy each day, I hope I can. I started trying for Amelia's little brother or sister in May 2009. I have tried Clomid and injections with no success and am now waiting to have ovarian drilling in January. I long to have another baby and I'm really hoping that the ovarian drilling will work.

Best wishes to you all and I hope we all get BFPs and little bundles of joy soon.

Teresa
XxX
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23/03/12 ~ BFP!!!! (after IVF) Baby boy due 25/11/12 :-)
2010-2011 ~ Tried Clomid, Injections, Ovarian Drilling
May 2009 ~ Started TTC #2
Nov 2008 ~ My little girl was born sleeping at 25 weeks
Jul 2008 ~ BFP!!!!
Apr 2007 ~ Diagnosed with PCOS, Started TTC
Teresa
 
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Postby Izzie » Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:06 pm

Hi Teresa, welcome to this thread.

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

I am also having ovarian drilling with a lab and dye (in December) with cycle tracking afterwards - I am hoping it will be sufficient to kick my ovaries into action otherwise we move to IVF. Time is not on my side as I am 38.

Like you say Teresa, it is horrible that anyone is in this situation but hopefully we can all draw strength from it and support each other - I wish everyone gets their sticky BFP's asap.

x
TTC since Nov 05
BFP 26/12/09 - late m/c at 20 wks
BFP 17/11/10 - EDD 22/7/11 - It's a boy!

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Izzie
 
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Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2007 4:15 pm

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