update time!!

[jazzy]

Hi Ladies. Havent been on the board for a long while. I wasnt quite sure where to post but I thought here would do. I have been very up and down physically lately because i've had to operations in last 2/3 months - one was my right wrist fusion to straighten my wrist. The recovery was horrible, agony with my wrist and being sick etc. It's ok now apart from the fact that I'm very frustrated (as my wrist is plated straight to stop contractures and pain) - but my fingers and thumb curl so I can't grip anything so now I only have my left hand and my mouth to help me!!! other than that have to ask mum or my PA's - It's so annoying cos i'm so reliant on people now. I'm going uni in september and I'm really excited but also really scared cos I get very socially anxious - I've had a very limited social life with those in wheelchairs (like myself) at college. Was also physically and emotionally bullied at school. I find it difficult to relate to people unless they seem to 'approve' of me (ie: start a conversation, say hi and take a general interest in me etc). This makes me feel more confident but without it I feel like nothing much and im not very confident and feel insecure. Some people even ignore me on facebook and I don't feel confident enough to phone people other than my mum or my best friend!!! I'm worried about the impact this will have at uni and I really want to apply for a canine partner assistance dog to help me be more independent and relieve some of my anxieties but I cant do it til i've got permanant accomodation which is at least 3 years away after my undergrad!!!!! Arggggggghhhhhh. Also just had my gall bladder out as had gall stones. So glad I got rid of it as was very painful when i had it- Is there link between this & pcos?? So sorry for long rant but needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading xxx

[Cloudyrain]

Hey hon!

I think you might be pleasantly surprised with Uni! It's such a shock that people are only a few weeks older than they were at school, but everyone seemed to me to be so much more mature. Often students get a bad press, but I was one and found most of my peers to be the most accepting people you could want. I think for a lot of people it is the time when they feel they can be how they want to be, rather than what other people say they should be. Also, you will be with other people who have probably had similar problems at school for various reasons.

I would recommend you go to freshers fairs. Honestly, it doesn't matter how shy you are the people who run the clubs will talk to you, they will come over and give you info about the clubs and activities they run, and when you put your name and number down you will often find they ring after to see if you still want to go to one of their functions. They aren't pushy, but just seem to get how overwhelming it can be at first. I think you will also find your first week useful. Just by saying "Hello" people stile up conversations. I didn't make loads of friends, but made had a small circle of very good friends; one of which I am actually going out with today 8 years after leaving uni!

Please try not to worry, it is a brilliant time, and I honestly think you will find it a million times different to school and college xxx

[Lucinda]

Agreed - I had a bit of a nightmare at school due to my various disabilities, but university was far better. I'm doing a doctorate now and still find it a 'safe' environment - I think generally the likelihood of being bullied is pretty low.

[jazzy]

Hi Girls!

Thank you very much for your reassurance. I am going to Derby Uni so probably around/near your way Lucinda?! I am just very nervous I think... at my college where I've just spent my gap year to increase my arts experience, I have only been around 30 disabled students, 12 of us in semi-independent flats, though we had specific hours of PA support. That coupled with the rigid routine of the 'learning programme' during the week - I felt like my so called independence was forever being strangled because I needed help with all my personal care (getting up, toilet, bed etc), support making lunch/dinner etc. It felt like a constant invasion of my space even though it was necessary because I need the physical help. I felt uncomfortable socialising because it was always with and around the same people and I got very bored most of the time. I'm the sort of person that likes things moving/buzzing and changes, and I can recognise now that I was getting nowhere near enough of that at college... staff would make excuses or blame short staffing loads to compensate for not taking me or a group out at weekends. There wasn't enough clubs to occupy us and I often felt like an outcast, the girl who everyone ignored as much as possible because she was a bitch!! Argh... i'm being self destructive again aren't I??? I surely hope my uni days are much better... am joining a week before the main students... will be joining freshers too so hopefully will enjoy myself... it's all about the hope with me!!! xxx i'm not always very sure of myself xxx

[Meringoo]

I am from Derby and loads fo my friends went to Derby uni. It's a very safe and friendly place. You will have a great time!! x

[jazzy]

Thanks Meringoo! . I had a great time when I was up there on my selection day back in 2010, it was the best day of my life in a long time on social level and a few of my friends are up there close to me so it should be fab! xxx

[Hols969]

Welcome back jazzy, I did wonder where you had gone to. Glad things are ok and uni will be a ball, a little frightening at first but you dont come across as anxious at all when we met but I bet everyone will feel the same as you so it wont be just you.

I think you will love it.

[jazzy]

Hi Holly! Thanks for your reply . To be truthful I think my anxiety on both a general and social level depends on the environment I'm in really and how people percieve me. At my Derby Uni selection day in 2010 it was amazing because people accepted me AND included me... which is true of most situations. However when I started at a mainstream school (turning my communcation & culture AS into A2) I couldn't get on there! - Socially and academically. I'd had mainstream experiences before (like previous college and school) but for some reason I just couldn't get on at this mainstream school. Looking back I think it was because of the age gap + I felt inadequate (ie: a young mature adult mixing with schoolchildren!). In the sixth form everyone had their own cliques and groups which made me feel very unnoticed and undermined like an outcast as well. I quit the school after 3 weeks & was much happier focusing on my arts and drama college stuff . I passed my bronze and silver arts award, and, I have my A levels, my LAMDA and Level 3 Certificate of Personal Effectiveness - all from my previous college (before my gap year) that went towards Derby uni (aswell as the 2'000 word essay I did from scratch, with lots of planning etc). I am happier now aswell because two of my friends are in uni on my course and pathway (Creative Expressive Therapies - Drama). Another friend of mine is doing history this year at Derby and one of my best friends is 10 mins up the road at Leicester uni plus I have family in burton and derby!!!!!!! What more could I wish for !!!!!!!! xxx

[thebuzz]

With regards to the gall bladder, I had mine out in December and was told although pcos doesn't cause it, if you have pcos you are at a higher risk of having gall stones. Also a family history has a big impact. I'm so pleased I had mine done, my recovery was slow due to infections and not being able to rest (the joy of 2 children and running your own business!) but so glad I did it.