We dont have sex anymore :( sorry if TMI...advice please

[waterlily01]

Hi all,

This is such a big issue in my life at the moment just thought I'd ask you girls for some advice and see if anyone else is having a similar problem.

Me and my DH have almost completely stopped having sex. Im 26 and he is 31. He has a very strong sex drive, but mine is practically non-existent especially when Im feeling depressed (which is most of the time), or tired (all the time).

We tried for about 5 months on Clomid to concieve, and it was very stressful! He faced reduncancy so we decided to stop trying for a bit, but since then, nothing.
I know he is masterbating, but he never comes near me anymore.
Is it because in the past when I've been too tired I've said 'no'?
Is it because Im so depressing and awkward to be aound?
Is it because masterbating is more satisfying than being with me?

Is any of this normal? How are we ever going to concieve if he doesnt want me and is masterbating? Should we even think about trying again?

Sorry everyone. so many questions!

[baglady5]

Hi waterlily01, i think you need to sit down and have a proper talk to husband. When i similar situation happened to me my husband told me that he didnt want kids at that moment and he didnt know how to tell me!!!!! This went on for many years b4 he told me and deep down inside i do resent him for it, because it has ruined the trust i had in him.
Talk to him b4 it gets any worse, it might be something simple that can easily be sorted out, but if its not dont let it fester.
Good luck and i hope everything works out for you.

[Tubman]

It could be that your husband doesn't want to ask you because he doesn't want to look like he's a sexpest.

I also wouldn't take the materbating too much to heart- I know my partner does it a lot, but its pretty much a none subject between us.

I'd agree with the above poster; a sincere and honest talk is needed.

Best of luck,
xxx.

[Hols969]

Im similar, my hubbie doesnt tend to make a move because he doesnt want to put pressure on me if I dont fancy it so leaves me to make the move (which I rarely do).

Men have to have a release somehow and I promise you that they would much rather be with you than their 'hand'!!

TTC can be a very very stressful time anyway and depressing too especially if you were on clomid. I am lucky as I now have Noah but I couldnt do it again as it was 3 long years for me (I think thats why I cant be bothered with sex in that it changed how I look at it now as I see it as a chore rather than something I want to do. I am on anti depressents for PND now and they reduce sex drive as well which doesnt help.

I would have a chat, it may be that you will have to bite the bullet and have sex even if you dont fancy it, just to get the ball going again, especially if you are going to TTC again, remember clomid is the devil drug and does make you feel really low but you are not alone at all.

Let us know how it goes but sit down and have a good chat about it.